@Lordmiles There's an old joke about a journalist visiting Belfast. He's held up at knifepoint as he leaves the pub one night and is asked "Catholic or Protestant?" Thinking quickly, he replies "I'm Jewish!" The knifeman replies, "By Allah, I be the luckiest Arab in Belfast tonight!"
@theiaincameron There's a story about Charles, back when he was Prince of Wales, visiting Bishop Auckland whilst wearing a hat made of fox fur. When he was asked why, he explained, "Well, I told Mumsy I was visiting Bishop Auckland and she replied: 'Where the f**ks 'at?'"