Matt of the Roop house

I'm just an Amir looking for his Jake.

[Matt of the Roop house @RoopMatt]

Wait, do vegans eat honey?

[Matt of the Roop house @RoopMatt]

*Opens reddit*
*sees this shit*
*deletes reddit*

[Matt of the Roop house @RoopMatt]

@AnthonyCSN found this gem on reddit, reminds me of scrap mechanic

[Matt of the Roop house @RoopMatt]

@NeebsOfficial https://t.co/8nW81MH1ef
Ladder guy is out there somewhere.

[Matt of the Roop house @RoopMatt]

*oompa loompa song plays*
Pimples, White-heads, give me such greif.
All of my acne, greasy corned beef.

[Matt of the Roop house @RoopMatt]

Dear palmolive, my whole kitchen tastes like your fucking green "soap". Is it secretly military technology designed to torture veitcong soldiers?

[Matt of the Roop house @RoopMatt]

Fuck! I missed the puppy bowl.

[Matt of the Roop house @RoopMatt]

Fuck I just had my first 5hour energy and it tasted like someone peed AAA batteries into my mouth.

[Matt of the Roop house @RoopMatt]

Turns out being in decent shape and having a big penis isn't everything. I might be fucked.

[Matt of the Roop house @RoopMatt]

"Wiz kalifa is the black elmer fudd" -swimmy

[Matt of the Roop house @RoopMatt]

I held a mirror up to society and it said "what's up guys this is scarce..."

[Matt of the Roop house @RoopMatt]

They should make a fallout for kentucky so I can hit a radpossom with my 3wheeler and have my cousinwife cook it for dinner.

[Matt of the Roop house @RoopMatt]

LADIES! 👩👩👩 If your man is under 7'2" 🐜🐜 makes less than 20,000,000 a year 💚$🐸 and doesn't own a quinplex mansion 🏠🏫 HE AIN'T SHIT! And you gotta dump👏dat👏gump👏👏👏

[Matt of the Roop house @RoopMatt]

Tik tok is the meth'd out trailer park of the internet.

[Matt of the Roop house @RoopMatt]

Culture is so weird. Just heard a scrawney white kid go "yeah dawg, vanilla be a lil spicy tho."

[Matt of the Roop house @RoopMatt]

Made a WaChewga sandwich. Made from Wachewga in da fridge.

[Matt of the Roop house @RoopMatt]

https://t.co/Mq2ZLgHsIc

[Matt of the Roop house @RoopMatt]

Reading movie reviews to figure out the movie taught me something. Movie critics are just pompous assholes who use unnecessarily big words to sound smart. I haven't learned anything about a movie from any of these reveiws.

[Matt of the Roop house @RoopMatt]

Rob Gronkowski should have been Kevin's brother in The Office