Ross Dauk

Comedy lover. Comedy maker. Brownie lover. Brownie baker. Host of Jokes Please! Every Thursday at Little Mountain Gallery, 9 pm.

[Ross Dauk @RossDauk]

Be a better person. Look people in the eyes when they talk, even if they're not talking to you.

[Ross Dauk @RossDauk]

@steveyedlin I loved that video. Thank you!

[Ross Dauk @RossDauk]

Turns out our cat likes pie crusts. I’m living with two beings with a more mature palette than my pie-filling-eating-only self.

[Ross Dauk @RossDauk]

Jokes Please! is a weekly, hour long comedy show on YouTube. Tonight @ivandecker and @unfamous do stand-up in a park and then we chat. It’s a good one! https://t.co/WCnj2pc9QZ

[Ross Dauk @RossDauk]

@unfamous @NoziPaul @theComedyMIX @colin_sharp @ryannornot Thanks @unfamous! This Thursday’s line-up is QUITE good @NoziPaul. You can check out Jokes Please! on Instagram or Facebook. I’ve been neglecting Twitter recently.

[Ross Dauk @RossDauk]

Last night was very fun! It’s always a pleasure to perform with one of the best.

[Brent Butt @BrentButt]

THANKS @RossDauk for letting me pop onstage at @_LittleMountain for the "Jokes Please" show last night. Such a blast, and I got to see some hilarious local comics. There are SO MANY amazing unique young comedy minds in Vancouver right now! It's terrifying!!!

[Ross Dauk @RossDauk]

@BrentButt @_LittleMountain It was great having you back! Hilarious stuff!

[Ross Dauk @RossDauk]

Last night was a goooood show! Thanks Matt and glad to have you on.

[Matt Braunger @Braunger]

Speaking of comedy pros, “Jokes Please” in Vancouver is one of the best shows/rooms in North America. Wow. Thanks for having me

[Ross Dauk @RossDauk]

@Braunger Thanks for doing the show! Hilarious set!

[Ross Dauk @RossDauk]

@Braunger @GavinMatts @courtgilmour @laurendeborah11 @theComedyMIX @TheSundayServ @colin_sharp Next week it is! 9 pm 195 26th Ave East. Let me know if anything changes.

[Ross Dauk @RossDauk]

Today is the day where I call up my ex pizza places and they're like "Pick-up or delivery?" And I'm like, "I miss you." #valentinesday

[Ross Dauk @RossDauk]

My friend told me to set my computer screen to "flux" to help me sleep. I turn mine to strobe, to help me party.

[Ross Dauk @RossDauk]

I purchased a shoe lace and was asked to join their rewards program. I declined. The new lace is rewarding enough, thanks.

[Ross Dauk @RossDauk]

Eyelashes are meant to keep debris out but I get more eyelashes in my eye than anything else.

The fight is long. Guarding each shining orb pulled by what true wonders lay hidden. Temptation takes hold eventually, The Lash needs to skate on that glassy horizon, if just once...

[Ross Dauk @RossDauk]

Second hand gloves. Nice and literal.

[Ross Dauk @RossDauk]

Shaking on a business deal is what you do. DO NOT do business with a newborn.

[Ross Dauk @RossDauk]

Angry enough to flip a table? Flip some pancakes on a hot griddle first, maybe you’re just hungry.

[Ross Dauk @RossDauk]

On the ferry a man just dropped trash into the ocean. I hate litter. I’m considering yelling frantically CAN OVERBOARD!

In the ensuing kerfuffle I will reveal the ruse and the true villain!

Then the mob will decide who to dump into the drink: The Litterer or The Ferry Delayer.

[Ross Dauk @RossDauk]

I'm looking for a Queen in the streets who’s a real Queen in the sheets.

I find the Queen very attractive.

[Ross Dauk @RossDauk]

It's funny when a dog or bird grabs someone else's sandwich but when I grab someone else's sandwich it's also funny.