Roy Bovril

[Joe Bluecock @joextweet]

Jealous of Balogun
Wish I could walk away from Everton. I fucking hate them so much

[David @DavidHickman87]

"We're selling you to Everton"

Balogun:

[Dom Howson @domhowson]

🔵⚪️ Why #htafc have cashed in on talented midfielder Tom Iorpenda.

[Blue6oy @blue6oy]

Tina Turner’s less successful follow-up single

[kramerica industries @hepimp]

looks like Southgate and Russell Martin got in The Fly machine together

[St Mirren FC @saintmirrenfc]

Jacob Chapman has been named in the SPFL Team of the Week.

Well done, Jacob 👏

[Lucinda Tobyjug @msloobylou]

Radio 2 be like: "Hi, it's Katie from Tiverton here, husband James and I are driving up to Skye with kids Erin and Stan and Rosie the Cavapoo to get in a hot tub with the Harper family and then going to see Boyzone play live. Keep the tunes coming for the drive back!"

[Metro @MetroUK]

'Alley Cats is the televisual equivalent of a black hole of bad ideas that sucks happiness out of a room, leaving only the howling void of boredom and misery in the space that enjoyment once occupied': https://t.co/y3XQ74JxWx

[G.T @gingerrtom]

When are the 'thank you' emails being sent out then fella? @JeremyClarkson

[Mick ☕️🍉 @MickCoffey2]

Best eulogy has been already done
🎤 🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤

[indykaila News @indykaila]

People will talk about Ashley Williams in same sentence as Franco Baresi in years to come... Legends #Swansea

[Plutôt la Barbie @plutotlabarbie]

"Hahaha, yeah, he does look just like me."

"But seriously though, I did not murder Ann Widdecombe."

[Richard Chamberlain @ricardo_chambo]

Coming soon to Classic Football Shirts listed as 8/10 condition.

[FPL 420 @420fpl]

Football heritage

[mooms : family man @Danny_McMoomins]

I'm still trying to process that someone woke up the other day with murdering Big Anne Widders on their to-do list.

[Farrukh @implausibleblog]

Krishnan Guru-Murthy, "Resigning now puts a halt to the inquiry that could have seen Nigel Farage suspended for failing to declare his £5m gift"

"It forces a by-election now before the truth has been established about that money, and any other gifts or donations"

"Such as those revealed over the weekend from a convicted fraudster"

"But if re-elected the Standards Inquiry resumes and another by-election could be forced anyway"

"The other parties are saying they won't indulge this contest"

"And it looks like the only serious opposition Mr Farage faces could come from Count Binface"

@CountBinface 👏 This is yours for the taking

#C4News

[Jeremy Corbyn @jeremycorbyn]

Nigel Farage is the epitome of the establishment.

He makes millions at the expense of the poorest, while blaming the most vulnerable to protect his wealth and power.

We cannot afford a society that feeds the expensive ego of Nigel Farage. Clacton deserves better.

[JimmyTheGiant @jimthegiant]

What happened?

[Andy Burnham @andyburnham]

Always worth knowing when bin day is.