Today is my wife and my 7th anniversary.
Over the last month, I asked couples who have been married over 50 years what advice they would give to their younger selves.
Here's the relationship advice everyone needs to hear:
This wine brand called Kumusha is made by a Zimbabwean called @tnashenyamudoka.
Imagine if ALL Zimbabweans who see this tweet would repost it to give Tinashe’s wine brand more visibility as we head towards Christmas.
Imagine each time you see Kumusha you would repost it, imagine what it would do for Tinashe’s wines.
I say so because Black Zimbabweans struggle to support each other even with reposts or retweets that won’t cost them a single penny.
It is the reason why our struggles have taken so long to succeed, we focus more where there is personal benefit than giving another person from our community a push.
“One morning, my mother prepared breakfast after a late night's work. My father offered to fix it but she said she wanted to.
She put a plate of eggs and burnt toast in front of my father.
I immediately noticed, the burnt toast, and I was waiting to see if he was going to complain about it. Instead, my father started to eat them. Smiling, he asked me how I spent my day at school.
My mom apologized to my dad for the burnt toast. I will never forget his response to her:
"Honey, I love burnt toast!"
Later when I went to bed and my dad came over to kiss me goodnight, I asked him if he really liked the burnt toast?
He hugged me and said, "Your mother has had a difficult day and she is really tired. She went out of her way to prepare this meal for us, why blame her and hurt her. Burnt toast never hurt anyone; but words can be very painful!””
We have to know how to appreciate what others do for us, even if it's not perfect, because it's the intention to do well that counts, and no one is perfect.
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I'm at the age now where, I don't want a relationship where all of our time & energy goes into fighting over bare minimum things like respect, time, attention, care, & understanding. I want to have the time & energy to do the most for you. Love you beyond the bare minimum. Plan cute dates. Go on weekend getaways. Take dance classes together. Take up a hobby together. Cook together. Cuddle on the couch while we watch our favourite show. Write each other handwritten letters. Find little ways to make each other's day that much easier. I don't want constant fighting, bickering, & drama with you. I want romance, thrill, & adventure with you. I want an epic romance.
My message to a Zimbabwean University Graduate:
As someone who has interviewed graduates for jobs across various organizations and sectors, it breaks my heart to see some of them missing out on lifetime opportunities due to a lack of initiative while still at university. That's why I believe it's crucial to share the basics that every university graduate in Zimbabwe should have before leaving university. Unfortunately, these basics are not always taught in lectures. In fact, 90% of what I list below can be self-taught.
1. Presentation skills are essential. There are hundreds of free courses available online that can help you improve in this area. Graduates often struggle during interviews when asked to prepare a presentation and present it to the panel. The presentation format is generally poor, and the visuals are terrible - everything will be terrible.
2. Report writing is another area where many graduates fall short. Sometimes, it's hard to tell if they even studied English at all. The reports lack logic and critical thinking, and the grammar is atrocious. Even a translator would struggle to understand what they're trying to say.
3. In today's workplace, proficiency in Microsoft Office tools such as Excel, Word, and PowerPoint is essential. As a university graduate, it is expected that you have advanced-level skills in these applications, as they are commonly used for day-to-day tasks. However, if you're looking to take your skills to the next level and work with more sophisticated tools, you can consider learning applications like Power BI.
4. It is concerning that many graduates lack basic research skills, particularly in quantitative research. The disaster manifests in their inability to perform basic analysis, such as calculating the mean, median, percentiles, and range from the provided data. It is alarming that graduates are unable to perform even simple correlations in Excel. This highlights a significant gap in their education and training, which needs to be addressed to ensure that graduates are adequately prepared for the world of work.
5. Many do not know where to start if you assign them a simple research assignment. Learn one or two data analysis research packages. The common one for social sciences and commerce is SPSS. You can also do basic statistical calculations in Excel. There are tutors on campus and off campus who can teach you this for a fee that is next to free. You can also learn on your own.
6. Grooming and deportment are essential aspects of personal presentation that can greatly influence how others perceive you. Personal appearance and hygiene are key components of grooming, and they include bathing, brushing teeth, hair care, skincare, and dressing appropriately for different occasions. While employers may enhance these skills, it is important to take responsibility for them yourself. Deportment, on the other hand, refers to how a person carries themselves. It encompasses posture, body language, etiquette, and manners. Good deportment can make a positive impression on others and help you confidently present yourself to others.
7. Effective communication skills are essential in today's world, especially with the increasing use of digital technologies. It is important to learn various communication skills to communicate effectively with different people in different situations.
8. Trivial but important: learn to connect a laptop to a projector. Learn how to switch a projector on and off. Some have never used a laptop and fail to switch it on.
N.B. It is not the job of a university to teach you all the above except research. Before you leave university, make sure you can do all the above.
I really appreciated having my husband in there with me. He was holding my hand, breathing with me and even stayed well after the baby was born. I felt safe and fully supported through it all.
My brothers, if there is ever a time to be present that is it.
Not only are you providing
immeasurable physical & emotional support to your partner but you also gain unreal context as to the pain it takes to bring so much joy in both your lives.
Life changing really.
when you finally meet the one who don’t mind spending time with you. loves to be under u dont mind planning dates protects u.. makes you feel safe dont let you go to sleep mad & lifts you up on your bad days, you take care of them & give them the world❤️‼️
And when you pray tonight..pray for strength to withstand the process. We all know what we want in life, however we do not know the journey that lies ahead. The process is challenging and sometimes discouraging but never quit. May God grant you strength to reach your destination.
This I have spent so much years of my life,trying to piece back various relationships (be it friendships, family relations) together just because in a heat of the moment i failed to take a step back and just breath. The damage control I ended up going through 🤐
1. Pausing before reacting: our habit reactions to situations come from our past. When we pause and learn to witness the emotions come and go, we can make better choices more in alignment with who we want to be.