Ryan Hodge 🆒

Of regional acclaim.

[Ryan Hodge 🆒 @RyanHodge_]

nothing says marriage like a kiosk 🫶 @KingCountyWA

[Ryan Hodge 🆒 @RyanHodge_]

@darth_law Oh well goes without saying you got fuckin switched for sure

[Ryan Hodge 🆒 @RyanHodge_]

28000 per the Baltimore Sun in 1998, quoting one guy who "[said] his figures are from a 1996 study" from a now-defunct security firm in Las Vegas.

And "switch" means any temporary administrative mistake, not sending a baby home with the wrong family.... Spot on, otherwise

[slim. @MissKilahMarie]

Over 28,000 babies are switched in the hospital at birth each year, some never to be returned. That’s actually terrifying.

[Ryan Hodge 🆒 @RyanHodge_]

@CarsonFiori I've always assumed those stretches are patrolled by heat seeking missle

[Ryan Hodge 🆒 @RyanHodge_]

@darth_law I was touring a rental once and gave a move-in date 1-2 months out and the landlord gave me the saddest little sympathetic smile

[Ryan Hodge 🆒 @RyanHodge_]

I'm sorry to inform everyone I'm writing satirical news again. My first piece for @TheNeedling:

[The Needling @TheNeedling]

CDC Announces Masks Optional, Glaring At Maskless Passerby Still Required: https://t.co/y6enPDi2qf

[Ryan Hodge 🆒 @RyanHodge_]

No LinkedIn recruiter has ever had an original experience

[Ryan Hodge 🆒 @RyanHodge_]

@rachellaurenj51 just let me know I missed the boat with hot zoom takes, bummer

[Ryan Hodge 🆒 @RyanHodge_]

Zoom tip: saying "let's go around and introduce ourselves," with no order, to a 15-person zoom call is a completely INSANE thing to do!

[Scott Aukerman @ScottAukerman]

Covid was cringe

[Ryan Hodge 🆒 @RyanHodge_]

@hodge81 His name is Beezer!

[Ryan Hodge 🆒 @RyanHodge_]

#NewProfilePic

[Ryan Hodge 🆒 @RyanHodge_]

BREAKING: a source in the Press Secretary's office has provided us with this rejected edit to Trump's most recent statement

[Ryan Hodge 🆒 @RyanHodge_]

@darth_law Big sigh of relief from Google's search suggestions when you got to 'stuck'

[The Mountain Goats @mountain_goats]

I'll tell you a story about new years

[Ryan Hodge 🆒 @RyanHodge_]

@timothyrh It's my curse 😥

[Ryan Hodge 🆒 @RyanHodge_]

Can we talk about how the smoking gun for voter fraud is some underfunded, county-run websites with outdated or incomplete information on them

[Ryan Hodge 🆒 @RyanHodge_]

This sudden blind trust in county IT would be endearing if it wasn't obviously malicious.

I can't stress enough that an embedded excel sheet created by someone who undoubtedly doesn't work there anymore isn't going to be meticulously and perfectly updated

[Ryan Hodge 🆒 @RyanHodge_]

Like I have bad news for these folks if they ever try to look something up online from their local DMV

[Ryan Hodge 🆒 @RyanHodge_]

@darth_law Disgusting