Ryan O'Reilly

Just another monkey with a typewriter, trying to get through Hamlet

[Ryan O'Reilly @Ryanorei]

One thing about me is that I will engage in buffoonery, from time to time

[Ryan O'Reilly @Ryanorei]

Idk who needs to hear this, but check out Rick Rubin’s discography if you have a free minute. Man may have the single most impressive, expansive, and eclectic resume of all time.

[Ryan O'Reilly @Ryanorei]

I think we can all agree that there’s absolutely no need to interrupt a sporting event with a weather report ever; like categorically. I’ve never learned anything from a meteorologist that was not patently obvious from a single glimpse of the radar.

[Ryan O'Reilly @Ryanorei]

This probably shouldn’t be surprising to anyone, but Neil Young might have the most ridiculously prolific music career of all time. Man has literally 50 albums. 50 fuckin albums over 56 years. Wildly impressive.

[Ryan O'Reilly @Ryanorei]

I can wrap my head around a good ol’ fashioned licky boom-boom, but to licky boom-boom DOWN… scandalous. A bridge too far in this man’s eyes.

[Ryan O'Reilly @Ryanorei]

@Criminalsimpson @NGarrity_4 read all the replies

[Ryan O'Reilly @Ryanorei]

Ooh hecky naw, that boy is raw

[Ryan O'Reilly @Ryanorei]

I got that dog in me, but it just keeps saying “Yo quiero Taco Bell”

[Ryan O'Reilly @Ryanorei]

I didn’t realize I was depressed until I looked at my recently used emojis ☹️😔🫣😢🤒👎

[Ryan O'Reilly @Ryanorei]

The DJ at this bar I’m at just said “Thank you everybody, I am DJ Moby Dick”, but last time I was here he said “Just call me Ishmael.”

[Ryan O'Reilly @Ryanorei]

New Years is ok I guess but I do think it would be cool if we abolished months and years and just made the date one long, rolling number. “What’s today? The 2,045,765,923rd right?”

[Ryan O'Reilly @Ryanorei]

It’s 2023 and I already hate it here.

[Ryan O'Reilly @Ryanorei]

So glad @Twitter shows views on every tweet now. I really needed to know that 150 people saw my tweet and no one liked it.

[Ryan O'Reilly @Ryanorei]

I’m gherked up off them bars (eating tiny pickles)

[Ryan O'Reilly @Ryanorei]

A store called “Necktats’R’Us”

[Ryan O'Reilly @Ryanorei]

What did college bands play before Seven Nation Army came out?

[Ryan O'Reilly @Ryanorei]

“Welcome to The Grammy’s, we guarantee you’ve never seen this many people wearing sunglasses inside.”

[Ryan O'Reilly @Ryanorei]

Crazy how only a lunatic would hear “Warren G” and think you are talking about the president. A testament to how truly iconic Regulate is.

[Ryan O'Reilly @Ryanorei]

Jewel managers when the “How many bags did you use?” screen pops up at self-checkout:

[Ryan O'Reilly @Ryanorei]

Doing my taxes

[Ryan O'Reilly @Ryanorei]

I guess I’d say blue corn is pretty much like one of my favorite colored corns