The 10 steps of becoming a Bitcoiner:
1. Buy $200 worth because “it might be a good hedge.”
2. Watch it go up 11%, immediately develop a messiah complex, and start calculating what your portfolio will be worth when Bitcoin hits $13 million by Christmas.
3. Watch it drop 22% in two days, stare at the wall in total silence, and tell yourself you’re “thinking in four-year time horizons” while your stomach is falling through your ass.
4. Start pirating Austrian economics PDFs to read while you eat your Scooby Doo Kraft Mac & Cheese.
5. Begin saying phrases like “sound money,” “Cantillon effects,” and “monetary premium” to people who were simply trying to enjoy a burger in peace.
You are totally not autistic AT ALL by this point.
6. Realize every purchase now has a shadow price in sats. That burrito isn’t $14. That’s 11,000 sats, you absolute animal.
7. Develop a completely normal habit of checking the Bitcoin price at 3:17 AM with one eye open like a divorced Civil War general waiting for updates from the front.
8. Become physically incapable of hearing the phrase “diversified portfolio” without smirking like a schizophrenic medieval peasant who buried the king’s gold under his floorboards.
9. Lose the ability to talk to normies entirely because they’re excited about a 4.3% savings account while you’re internally screaming that the money is made of theatrical fog and central bank dementia.
10. Arrive at the final form: calm, dead-eyed, spiritually detached from the matrix, and weirdly comfortable knowing that everyone will call you insane right up until the exact moment they call you lucky.
That’s the Bitcoiner journey.
It takes everyone a different amount of time to realize everyone is just thinking about themselves, no one was watching, and you should’ve just done whatever the fuck you wanted to all along.
@WatcherGuru buying digital art at peak hype for $1.3M without any underlying utility or cashflows was the kind of trade that made sense only in that moment
@ZCHIBICoin@WatcherGuru Yes, they frontloaded their own coins i guess? My goal is to learn how to flip that narrative and go back to utility. Any ideas?
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Thank you for your trust.
I’ve transacted with Litecoin many times.
Fast. Cheap. Secure.
Paid less than $0.01.
We’re in the year 2026, I thought..
I looked up from my phone.
The banker looked at me.
The middleman glanced at his feet.
The legacy system squinted its eyes.
The man in the suit nervously said:
"We charge a $35 wire transfer fee."
3 day processing.
Source of wealth form.
I said, no thanks.
I’ll stick to digital silver.
I walked out.
"Bitcoin? I-man nah serve di shitstem's paper. But if di downpressor fear it — den it must have some truth inna it. Watch who hold di most, and you will see who Babylon is."
-Peter Tosh I think or something
You want to know why Bitcoiners are intense?
Because we watched the system turn adulthood into an endless subscription to stress.
Rent up, insurance up, food up, your boss sending 9:47 PM “quick questions,” and the Fed on TV smiling like a dentist about to pull your teeth without anesthesia.
Bitcoiners bought because we hate being lied to, and we hate being poor even more.
Feels like we're the only ones paying attention.