What doesn't kill you makes you
ghost all your friends,
lose your appetite, rot in bed all day, lose your academic potential, overthink everything at 3am, stop replying to people you actually love, lose interest in things you used to enjoy, feel tired even after doing nothing
The trauma of abandonment is so cruel because no matter how much I'm with someone amazing, even a beautiful friendship, I can only keep thinking that they're going to get tired of me at any moment, it's like I have to live on alert all the time and can't enjoy anything properly