El Josh

¿Porqué te cais pendejo?
¿No sabes que duele? - My dad.

[El Josh @SMB_Josh]

If there's gonna be a Dora The Explorer movie can R. Kelly be swiper? #SwiperNoSwiping

[El Josh @SMB_Josh]

How come no one ever talks about how hugs are super fucking creepy?

[El Josh @SMB_Josh]

@_ibarrawesome_ @brianabraska I think Bryan here has way too much faith in humanity. 🙄

[El Josh @SMB_Josh]

@siurras Juggalos.

[El Josh @SMB_Josh]

Anyone else read this article cuz they trying to get some neck too?

[The New Yorker @NewYorker]

How the giraffe got its neck: https://t.co/VCCIFCbbeg

[El Josh @SMB_Josh]

Every morning I order a black Americano at my favorite coffee shop but I ask for an "African Americano" and the barista never laughs, but that's showbiz baby.

[El Josh @SMB_Josh]

@MuirMurdoch @UberFacts Wait, do you mean "thick" like "dense" or like they've got a lot of junk in the trunk?

[El Josh @SMB_Josh]

@MuirMurdoch @UberFacts How thick are we talking?

[El Josh @SMB_Josh]

@TheTweetOfGod "Don't be an asshole" - Jesus Christ

[El Josh @SMB_Josh]

@TheTweetOfGod Doing what?

[El Josh @SMB_Josh]

@brianabraska I wanna let you.

[jesse Williams. @iJesseWilliams]

IT’S ALMOST LIKE THEY DIDN’T MEAN IT WHEN THEY SAID
“ALL LIVES MATTER”

[El Josh @SMB_Josh]

I love when girls say "You probably couldn't handle me." like, okay, Stacy I'm sure you're so much harder to strangle than my ex.

[El Josh @SMB_Josh]

@PUSHA_T @kanyewest @KidCudi so I feel like the three albums you recently released are each meant to represent a different part of one's persona. Now is this weed really good and I'm just dumb as hell or is this weed really good and I'm on to something?

[El Josh @SMB_Josh]

@CoachRic @PUSHA_T @jimmykimmel Shut yo dumbass up. Anyone who doesn't know Pusha T is a fucking lame.

[El Josh @SMB_Josh]

@PUSHA_T vs. Aubrey Graham in a nutshell https://t.co/HvEV6eth6S

[El Josh @SMB_Josh]

@MarkAGunnels Shut yo dumbass up.

[El Josh @SMB_Josh]

Me beating my son's ass: "boy who taught you the scientific method?" https://t.co/HlQsuFDiUv

[Rogue Dad, M.D. @RogueDadMD]

Just learned our 9y/o did an experiment on us. Lost tooth, told no one for 3d, kept tooth under his pillow. No $. Then he tells us he lost the tooth, next night there is money under his pillow. Then confronted us with his scientific evidence that the tooth fairy isn't real.

[El Josh @SMB_Josh]

@hannibalburess it's that you in the last picture? 😂