Lois Usry

Haters are like crickets. Crickets make a lot of noise, you hear it but you can't see them. Then right when you walk by them, they're quiet.

[Lois Usry @SSanturyan]

Reading a paragraph over and over again because you can't concentrate on it.

[Lois Usry @SSanturyan]

I hate when people borrow money from you then get mad at you cause you want your money back.

[Arlene Andreasen @igromak1]

Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

[Michele Gose @sasnozmono]

Ghetto wet floor sign: Caution, b*tches be trippin.

[Wanda Samuel @vladimirenkova1]

Rule 1 for arguments: If you're losing, start correcting their grammar.

[Lois Usry @SSanturyan]

If you're a small guy in prison, I bet the worst cellmate you could get would be a big angry ventriloquist who misses his dummy.

[Lois Usry @SSanturyan]

The awkward moment when you're that one friend who always gives relationship advice but is still single.

[Lois Usry @SSanturyan]

I've changed? No.. I just grew up. I stopped letting people push me around, I learned that I can't always be happy, I accepted reality!

[Elizabeth Lopez @titenskaya]

A coworker announced he's getting married. I told him how happy my marriage has made me. But he's still going through with it anyway.

[Lois Usry @SSanturyan]

Grammar is important. For instance, commas save lives: Let's eat grandpa. Lets eat, grandpa.

[Lois Usry @SSanturyan]

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?

[Lois Usry @SSanturyan]

I hate when people tell me to calm down when I'm not even mad.

[Sheila Kitchens @77Artaeva]

R.I.P LeBron James Ringless Jokes 2003 -2012 :(

[Wen Kennedy @KhrapalSola]

I try to donate to charity, but they keep bringing my kids back.

[Lois Usry @SSanturyan]

In Hell you can't untag pictures of yourself.

[Leigh Brown @2016Staneva]

S.C.H.O.O.L. = Seven Crappy Hours Of Our Life. C.L.A.S.S. = Come Late And Start Sleeping. F.I.N.A.L.S. = Fu*k I Never Actually Learned Shit.

[Kristina Courtney @saltanchugaevs1]

In Hell you can't untag pictures of yourself.