Sweets for Short

No longer here. Just looking for school updates because my daughter’s principal posts instead of emails to parents

[Sweets for Short @STitusR]

Just remember one thing. We're all here to escape something.

[Sweets for Short @STitusR]

My single male friends ask what women want. Open the car door, pull out her chair, brush the strand of hair away from her face. Listen. Ok?

[Sweets for Short @STitusR]

Well, shit. Social media and app dating have one thing in common. Married men are "in a bad relationship." Go screw yourself!

[Sweets for Short @STitusR]

I car karaoked all of the words to Queen's Somebody to Love Me this morning. Take that, alcohol! You didn't get all of my brain cells yet!

[Sweets for Short @STitusR]

I stepped on a scale at a friends house. I'm not eating or drinking for the next year.

[Sweets for Short @STitusR]

I've learned a few fun terms lately. Ghosting. Breadcrumbing. Here's a tip. Manners are still appreciated on dating apps. Not happening!

[Sweets for Short @STitusR]

I'm pretty damn sure the friend zone is my zip code with aerial notifications on my house on Google maps!

[Sweets for Short @STitusR]

You know what hurts more than a broken heart? Opening your heart and having it denied.

[Sweets for Short @STitusR]

I'm so tired of being friend zoned.

[Sweets for Short @STitusR]

Married men that hit on single moms should be recess attendants as punishment.

[Sweets for Short @STitusR]

You know when you get a song stuck in your head? Why the hell does it have to be Bawitdaba? My name is Kid Rock! Oh! And you're welcome!

[Sweets for Short @STitusR]

I'm pretty sure the inventor of Shopkins is related to the inventor of Legos and feels compelled to injure the feet of parents everywhere!

[Sweets for Short @STitusR]

I remember once upon a time when twitter was fun.

[Sweets for Short @STitusR]

So now it's 16, 7 and 11. Pretty sure parenting never changes! Love it when someone pops the old ones! https://t.co/FhV7XrQ7MD

[Sweets for Short @STitusR]

Me: Am I a bad mother?

13: No, you just have bad kids.

3: Mommy! You're AWESOME!

7: *currently having meltdown. Will weigh in later*

[Sweets for Short @STitusR]

Oh right. Don't worry about that chick he talks to and texts and goes to baseball games with. Sure, she's just a friend. What?

[Sweets for Short @STitusR]

@TRRMatt Kiss my arse😜

[Sweets for Short @STitusR]

@WendyRae_P Holy shit! I am never on twitter anymore and you popped up the one night I checked! Check your messages. I'll send it😝

[Sweets for Short @STitusR]

Ok, guys. Here's a tip. Don't text back "K." Doesn't matter if it's your wife, gf, mom, or daughter. Just don't. School's out!

[Sweets for Short @STitusR]

@SondraDeeMe Hi Sondra! I just heard your dad passed. My deepest sympathies to you! I know how much you adored him. Words cannot express!

[Sweets for Short @STitusR]

@MrsFancyPants77 Back at you my love💚

[Sweets for Short @STitusR]

I'm just a woman dreading my work performance review making banana chocolate chip bread because I refuse to offer sexual favors. *sigh