steve, white dad

why be sad when instead you could just be funny while secretly being sad??

[steve, white dad @SadGorlClub]

*out to eat with my friend who’s tired of me going on pointless rants*

me: “This place is bullshit. Buffalos don’t even have wings, Darrel, and even if they did they wouldn’t be wild because the government would capture all of them and put them in zoos for a quick buck, also-“

[steve, white dad @SadGorlClub]

me:

girl who still lives in high school home town who’s involved in a pyramid scheme: “Oh my god girl you look great!! Would you be interested in making up to $5,000 extra a month without even leaving the house??”

[Fred Delicious 🍆 @Fred_Delicious]

Who remembers these

[chuuch @ch000ch]

white people fucking love turning in for the night

[chuuch @ch000ch]

Ah crap this joke from 2015 is just real life now

[the garbage shit boy @davedittell]

"I don't understand moths," I say as I finish off another beer. "why do they gravitate to what kills them?" I stand. "anyone need another?"

[brent @murrman5]

coworkers whispering: why does he wash it if he’s gonna peel it?
me leaving the break room with a wet banana: morning guys

[steve, white dad @SadGorlClub]

where can I buy a boob job and happiness for only $7?? asking for myself

[rico @somethinglovely]

me too:(