Sal | 19 y/o | EDTWT | Locking in Again :,)

Navigating disordered eating while also having more than a provisional DX of dissociative identity disorder from multiple providers

[Sal | 19 y/o | EDTWT | Locking in Again :,) @Salllish]

Hi! My name is Sal and I am not new to edtwt.
I am:
19 Y/O He/ Him
Hospital dx’ed with DID
🌱forager + gardener🌱
🧟 3,000 hour ProjectZomboid player 🪓
🪿transgender 🏳️‍⚧️🎸
High currently weight, disordered since 2023/2024

♻️ / ❤️ to be mooties

[໊ @xingyuelvr]

when men complain about blackpill but little girls were forced to have their feet binded to appear smaller to attract future husbands so i lowkey don't care

[Sal | 19 y/o | EDTWT | Locking in Again :,) @Salllish]

@Watamoterin I can really relate to the situation where when I talk about chronic / severe mh issues it’s not received well. Whereas when other ppl talk abt it, it’s not off putting.

Are there any ways you think you could practice opening up in a small way?

Sorry I hope I didn’t overstep!

[Sal | 19 y/o | EDTWT | Locking in Again :,) @Salllish]

Sal ordered razor blades. And I just got the package. So I took them and gave them to mom.

We don’t want to be cutting again. I do not want to be injured. Sorry, dude.

[Sal | 19 y/o | EDTWT | Locking in Again :,) @Salllish]

@dietglorp YESSS milk is top tier!

Right now I’m on dozyxyxline and I can’t have any dairy products rip

Enjoy ur milk!

[Sal | 19 y/o | EDTWT | Locking in Again :,) @Salllish]

@katpizzy Thank you, I hope you have a good day and are also doing your best to take care of yourself in this god damn wonderful and also shit world. 🤠

[Sal | 19 y/o | EDTWT | Locking in Again :,) @Salllish]

Miss this.

TW: fake wound all sfx or whatever the fuck

At first I removed the razors from my cart, but I just bought them anyway. I need to show them how much they hurt me.

[Sal | 19 y/o | EDTWT | Locking in Again :,) @Salllish]

@Lylylimia This is my current ferment. It is lemon and foraged wine berries. Very complex flavor with sweetness and some bitterness from the one flower of yarrow I added.

Sorry for rambling in your comments, just wanted to put you on to this:

Also incredible non shit yourself laxitive

[Sal | 19 y/o | EDTWT | Locking in Again :,) @Salllish]

@Lylylimia Hey, have you heard of lacto fermented fruit scrap sodas? Super easy to make after like one week of YouTube videos, 8 fermentation grade bottles off of Amazon for less than 40 bucks ( expensive but can also use scavenged bottles just more likely to go wrong )

[Sal | 19 y/o | EDTWT | Locking in Again :,) @Salllish]

YOOOOO LETTS GOOO

we have one old razor blade left.

one of us told mom to take it away but luckily she forgot 🤞🏼

[Sal | 19 y/o | EDTWT | Locking in Again :,) @Salllish]

I am so ashamed of myself. I am terrible. I hate this.

[Sal | 19 y/o | EDTWT | Locking in Again :,) @Salllish]

Wow my grandmother really hates me huh. Guess that means I will be returning to restriction and binge purging 🤠

[Sal | 19 y/o | EDTWT | Locking in Again :,) @Salllish]

Grandmother will no longer take up my entire vision. She is killing me. And also I will get skinnier than her.

[Sal | 19 y/o | EDTWT | Locking in Again :,) @Salllish]

Locking in this time

2024
185 lb—> 155 lb

2025
155 —-> 205 lb

Since weighing in at 205, I have lost to 192 lbs. 13 pounds gone, another ≈50 to go 😭

[Sal | 19 y/o | EDTWT | Locking in Again :,) @Salllish]

I’m so isolated and I have nobody to talk to. I want to fucking hang myslef today but it’s gonna. Hurt

[Sal | 19 y/o | EDTWT | Locking in Again :,) @Salllish]

DID is horrible and I want to end myself. It feels like life is nothing but suffering

[Sal | 19 y/o | EDTWT | Locking in Again :,) @Salllish]

@pastaaagh Hello how are you today?

[Sal | 19 y/o | EDTWT | Locking in Again :,) @Salllish]

While I was not in control of myself, they found and gave up my razor blades. Fucking why. Why. Why. I needed those I need to do it again I have one old one and a scalpel blade. Damn it.

[Sal | 19 y/o | EDTWT | Locking in Again :,) @Salllish]

@_Mausoleum_Rent Damn yeah I kinda had a feeling she was making it out as worse than it really is. Makes me want to buy more razor though. Oh well, hopefully I’ll get over it.

[Sal | 19 y/o | EDTWT | Locking in Again :,) @Salllish]

Look at my arms. My mom told me over the years that from an outside perspective I would be shocked by the damage which I have done. But it’s just feels so small and insignificant. All I seem to see are the non scars and that makes me want to make them scars.

[Sal | 19 y/o | EDTWT | Locking in Again :,) @Salllish]

Just cleared off a foot of clutter right on the side where I get up in the morning and found bugs in the carpet 🧚‍♂️🧚‍♂️🔥💪🏼