SaltedGround

Just a list of things i hear while i work at the comic shop/ Film set. 100% real, 33% funny, 33% stupid, and 33% frustration.

[SaltedGround @SaltedGround]

"My family doesn't possess the 'Not-Do' spirit."
-Naomi on the opposite of the 'Can-do' spirit

[SaltedGround @SaltedGround]

@sylessae I was approached to do some concept work for a TV show pitch. The moment I asked for a contract, the client exploded and claimed that "people don't steal ideas/artwork in Hollywood!" and "I was ridiculous and unprofessional to even to ask". I fired the client on the spot.

[SaltedGround @SaltedGround]

Naomi: "So this is the new Blippi."
Matt: "Did someone find his internet history?"
Naomi: "NO, he's still with the company. It's not the TRADITIONAL REASON."
-Naomi on common reasoning for job replacement

[SaltedGround @SaltedGround]

"I have a 'Surprise' of cousins."
-Reine on new counting nomenclature.

[SaltedGround @SaltedGround]

"When I was young I got new blood from the blood fairy"
-Reine waiting for mommy at the blood clinic

[SaltedGround @SaltedGround]

@EL_K_8187 Omg! This is every time I try to go fast lol

[SaltedGround @SaltedGround]

" Kirkland brand pornography:
Everyone is 25-40, soft core only, underwear is Kirkland 12 pack. 100% middle of the road everything... and it's the size of a phone book."
-Conner, in consultation of today's CostCo order contents.

[SaltedGround @SaltedGround]

"I never considered it before... but scale is the only deviding line between fishing lures and sex toys.... 🤔"
-Matt to Vanessa on photos without scale.

[SaltedGround @SaltedGround]

"Attempting a smash and grab:
When the bard multi-classes into Rouge."
-Matt on stealing love, not things.

[SaltedGround @SaltedGround]

"Daddy's Daycare is the open road."
-Naomi on explaining what adults do all day and coming up with inadvertent country lyrics

[SaltedGround @SaltedGround]

"Turn on the Dong signal!"
- Garret on team motivation and assembly.

[SaltedGround @SaltedGround]

Naomi: "Let's play Russian roulette, let's see if I can get my phone all the way up your ass!"
Matt: "I dont think that's how you play Russian roulette..."
-Naomi on good sportsmanship

[SaltedGround @SaltedGround]

"Who's my girl, you played dad's mind like a tambourine today."
- Naomi talking to my daughter regarding the "poopocylpse".

[SaltedGround @SaltedGround]

"Remember to vote for the president, its important to clean out peoples closets..."
Unconscious Naomi on civic responsibility.

[SaltedGround @SaltedGround]

@wizards_magic The Gingerbread Widow would be my choice.

[SaltedGround @SaltedGround]

"The Film Industry: Sanity Optional"
-Jenny on industry standards and practices

[SaltedGround @SaltedGround]

Naomi: "GRATED PENIS!"
Matt: (Husband edges away)
-Naomi and the effects of the spell 'Power Word Social Uncomfortability'

[SaltedGround @SaltedGround]

@CaptainRedZone Hello Calvin. Have you ever published the deck list for your Hydra Hord?

[SaltedGround @SaltedGround]

(wince) "Oh! Oh god! I just want to take out my box and punch it!"
-The wife watching a horible ski crash.

[SaltedGround @SaltedGround]

@trekonlinegame You guys are awesome! T6 Valiant! I was there on day 1 when you launched, and i haven't looked back. Best game on the net!