Sam Everard

33. Travelling salesman. Private detective. Yoga instructor. Stuntman. Occasional liar

[Sam Everard @SamEverard1]

Haven’t been able to stop thinking about this pizza flyer ever since it came through the door. Just an unbelievably specific and funny thing to include. There has to have been an incident that led to this but I think it’s better that we’ll never know

[Sam Everard @SamEverard1]

@nicolelampert @AlexofBrown ‘Carefully calibrate’ come on even by the piss-poor standard set by the majority of the British press that’s an insane amount of bending over backwards to defend the indefensible. How do you sleep at night

[Sam Everard @SamEverard1]

Is there another set of Coen Brothers that I’m not aware of? Because otherwise…no?

[Valerie D'Orazio @TheVallyD]

This is like something out of a Coen Brothers movie

[Sam Everard @SamEverard1]

Imodium really got in there with the best medicine name possible. Feels like it describes exactly what it’s going to do, in a way that’s not entirely tangible

[Sam Everard @SamEverard1]

@defno_ghostface @staticbluebat All women aspire to be clam 🙏

[Sam Everard @SamEverard1]

@cowboybecsbop I’ve just started working less than 5 mins walk from Borough Market and this is incredibly valuable intel 🫡

[Sam Everard @SamEverard1]

This hosepipe ban is a nightmare, what do you mean I can’t take my dick out until it rains enough again?

[Sam Everard @SamEverard1]

Heartwarming. Streamers should be beaten with umbrellas wherever they go 😇🙏

[SlightlyHomeless @SlightlyHomele1]

Streamers in Japan are now getting beaten with umbrellas for doing pick up

[Sam Everard @SamEverard1]

Labour will lose so, so many seats tomorrow and they’ll deserve it completely. Nobody on the left agrees with any of this. They’re tilting just as far right as all the racists and fascists in blue and purple on the ballot

[Sam Everard @SamEverard1]

I Know Why the Caged Butt Sings

[Pop Base @PopBase]

Olivia Wilde arrives at the #MetGala.

(Via: @THR)

[Sam Everard @SamEverard1]

Hamnet Snack Tie-In

[Sam Everard @SamEverard1]

@protodanielle @AndyPlumb4 @TRobinsonNewEra ‘No time for liars and grifters’ in your bio and you’re a Tommy Robinson supporter, at least you’re letting people know you’re a fucking idiot as quickly as possible 🫡

[Sam Everard @SamEverard1]

Cleaning Tip: pick up every item around your house once per day and it’ll never accumulate dust!

[Sam Everard @SamEverard1]

Everyone sucks here! Kuenssberg’s a joke as any Brit knows but Harris has incredibly thin skin and immediately condescends/sneers at the idea that she might be REMOTELY culpable for fucking up a layup election and contributing to the planet’s decline in the process

[Mark @mrkphllps1]

Obsessed with Kamala Harris shutting the abysmal Laura Kuenssberg down

#BBCLauraK

[Sam Everard @SamEverard1]

Just got around to listening to Jamie Lee Curtis’ WTF interview, and what a complete fucking narcissist loser she is. Crying crocodile tears over Charlie fucking Kirk because he was a ‘devout man of faith’. Peak spineless liberalism

[Sam Everard @SamEverard1]

Mr Muscle 🤝 A Perfectionist Dutch Cobbler

[Sam Everard @SamEverard1]

@BluePikashoe @carbonsaveruk @BladeoftheS That’s not ‘lefty communism’ you fucking berk it’s capitalism: red tape bureaucracy, profit margins for shareholders, etc. Socialists/leftists actually value infrastructure over profit. Learn what words mean!

[Sam Everard @SamEverard1]

@FracturedLight0 @lanechanged @theliamnissan @grok ‘grok back me up please’

Jesus fuckin Christ how can you even face yourself in the mirror. That’s one of the most pathetic things I’ve ever read

[Sam Everard @SamEverard1]

Not horrified enough to actually do shit about it, are you? You’re an accomplice. There’s so much blood on your hands.

[David Lammy @DavidLammy]

Horrified by Israel’s attack on Nasser hospital. Civilians, healthcare workers and journalists must be protected. We need an immediate ceasefire.

[Sam Everard @SamEverard1]

This is literally just the same joke as the original post. Why am I still on this braindead rage-inducing app. Life doesn’t have to be like this

[subscribe to the state of the league patreon @JoestarJokic]

this and a small town where somethings not right

[Sam Everard @SamEverard1]

When you accidentally birth twin Mick Hucknalls

[omi @rogue_om]

This might be the worst offense