Sam Everard

33. Travelling salesman. Private detective. Yoga instructor. Stuntman. Occasional liar

[Sam Everard @SamEverard1]

Haven’t been able to stop thinking about this pizza flyer ever since it came through the door. Just an unbelievably specific and funny thing to include. There has to have been an incident that led to this but I think it’s better that we’ll never know

[Sam Everard @SamEverard1]

Labour will lose so, so many seats tomorrow and they’ll deserve it completely. Nobody on the left agrees with any of this. They’re tilting just as far right as all the racists and fascists in blue and purple on the ballot

[Sam Everard @SamEverard1]

I Know Why the Caged Butt Sings

[Pop Base @PopBase]

Olivia Wilde arrives at the #MetGala.

(Via: @THR)

[Sam Everard @SamEverard1]

Hamnet Snack Tie-In

[Sam Everard @SamEverard1]

@protodanielle @AndyPlumb4 @TRobinsonNewEra ‘No time for liars and grifters’ in your bio and you’re a Tommy Robinson supporter, at least you’re letting people know you’re a fucking idiot as quickly as possible 🫡

[Sam Everard @SamEverard1]

Cleaning Tip: pick up every item around your house once per day and it’ll never accumulate dust!

[Sam Everard @SamEverard1]

Everyone sucks here! Kuenssberg’s a joke as any Brit knows but Harris has incredibly thin skin and immediately condescends/sneers at the idea that she might be REMOTELY culpable for fucking up a layup election and contributing to the planet’s decline in the process

[Mark @mrkphllps1]

Obsessed with Kamala Harris shutting the abysmal Laura Kuenssberg down

#BBCLauraK

[Sam Everard @SamEverard1]

Just got around to listening to Jamie Lee Curtis’ WTF interview, and what a complete fucking narcissist loser she is. Crying crocodile tears over Charlie fucking Kirk because he was a ‘devout man of faith’. Peak spineless liberalism

[Sam Everard @SamEverard1]

Mr Muscle 🤝 A Perfectionist Dutch Cobbler

[Sam Everard @SamEverard1]

@BluePikashoe @carbonsaveruk @BladeoftheS That’s not ‘lefty communism’ you fucking berk it’s capitalism: red tape bureaucracy, profit margins for shareholders, etc. Socialists/leftists actually value infrastructure over profit. Learn what words mean!

[Sam Everard @SamEverard1]

@FracturedLight0 @lanechanged @theliamnissan @grok ‘grok back me up please’

Jesus fuckin Christ how can you even face yourself in the mirror. That’s one of the most pathetic things I’ve ever read

[Sam Everard @SamEverard1]

Not horrified enough to actually do shit about it, are you? You’re an accomplice. There’s so much blood on your hands.

[David Lammy @DavidLammy]

Horrified by Israel’s attack on Nasser hospital. Civilians, healthcare workers and journalists must be protected. We need an immediate ceasefire.

[Sam Everard @SamEverard1]

This is literally just the same joke as the original post. Why am I still on this braindead rage-inducing app. Life doesn’t have to be like this

[subscribe to the state of the league patreon @JoestarJokic]

this and a small town where somethings not right

[Sam Everard @SamEverard1]

When you accidentally birth twin Mick Hucknalls

[omi 🟢 @rogue_om]

This might be the worst offense

[Sam Everard @SamEverard1]

*Spanish Movie Set*

“Where’s the production designer?”

“Yeah, Where’s the production designer”

[Sam Everard @SamEverard1]

Taking them out forever by hitting them with a ‘passing the phone to an insufferable out of touch cunt with negative levels of self-awareness’ and they get caught in an endless feedback loop

[The Screen Rot Podcast @screenrotpod]

When you're sat next to the worst couple by the pool on holiday

[Sam Everard @SamEverard1]

@NickBuckleyMBE I did think it was weird that you voluntarily put the acronym ‘Massive Bell End’ after your name but it makes a lot of sense now, thanks for being self-aware 🙏

[Sam Everard @SamEverard1]

Dickheads When It’s Sunny and Over 10 Degrees Outside #TikTok https://t.co/5HUSP2lZPw

[Sam Everard @SamEverard1]

It’s ELAINE STRETCH!

The Broadway Grand Dame who’s also the ELASTIC SMASH HIT toy!

Posable DIVA!

Comes with 15 CATCHPHRASES!

🎵Here’s to the ladies who PUNCH!🎵

[Sam Everard @SamEverard1]

A man next to me on my flight yesterday watched at least 8 back to back episodes of Brooklyn 99 and he didn’t laugh once. Nary a chuckle. Not even a light smirk. Just stone-faced watching hours of a TV show that he’d downloaded in advance and presumably enjoyed.

[Sam Everard @SamEverard1]

Maybe blowing this out of proportion but it’s so sad and scary that there’s just this accepted facet of modern living where reaching out for connection in a completely normal way can result in someone you trust throwing you to the online wolves with a ‘look at this fucking loser’

[javi ^•-•^ @javic120]

straight men r something else, I got one a beer yesterday n he texted me “thank you for yesterday, I really needed it”