SamIsVanilla

Wannabe musician. Talentless is all the right places

[From the Finney @fromthefinney]

Just bumped into listener @QuinnyDDT on his stag do. Congrats and have a good day, David! 😂👰🏻‍♂️ #pnefc

[SamIsVanilla @SamIsVanilla1]

@FMDoop @FootballManager @QuinnyDDT

[SamIsVanilla @SamIsVanilla1]

ZombiesAteMyPie @CallofDuty #WarzoneReport

[SamIsVanilla @SamIsVanilla1]

.@jon__goodson once wanked off in a church. What do you think about that @Pontifex ?

[SamIsVanilla @SamIsVanilla1]

Just found out that if your foot scrapes across the floor of Preston Bus Station it sounds like you do a fuck-off huge fart #soundslikeishatmyself

[SamIsVanilla @SamIsVanilla1]

Can I get your autograph @collyLD ?

[SamIsVanilla @SamIsVanilla1]

Coke from a glass bottle is in a league of it's own #notthedrug

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

How to look busy:

- Frantically pretend to search for pen on and around desk
- Keep saying “right what was I doing?”
- Whisper “come on!” at your computer/angrily shake mouse
- Type quickly while standing/wearing a coat
- Look at watch and swear, rush out the office, go home

[SamIsVanilla @SamIsVanilla1]

Took too long on the toilet at work and the motion-sensor lights turned off #timewellspent

[SamIsVanilla @SamIsVanilla1]

I'd like to thank @jesus for inventing Christenings, giving everyone a great excuse to get reet pissed #2pintsofholywaterandapacketofcrisps

[Satan @s8n]

Wake up nerd it’s time to sin

[SamIsVanilla @SamIsVanilla1]

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