Samantha McClanahan

mother of two beautiful children - has too many books for her small number of bookshelves - also has ridiculous collection of horror DVDs - oh, and writes books

[Samantha McClanahan @SamMcclanahan25]

New book, new inspiring gif…

[Samantha McClanahan @SamMcclanahan25]

@LittleJoni00 I’ve got a horrormance in the works - about 14k in - so I’ve got plenty more work to do before you’d have enough to read. I’ll get my butt in gear as well!

[Samantha McClanahan @SamMcclanahan25]

@DannyDrinksWine #ReacherOnPrime I think I’m in good hands!!!

[Samantha McClanahan @SamMcclanahan25]

Dark places bring dark writings. Working on some different horror #WIPs

Some cozy, coffee shop #cthulhu vibes, a witch/werewolf #horrormance and a dark #Lovecraftian horror concerning an old god.

It feels good to be back at my laptop 🤓

[Samantha McClanahan @SamMcclanahan25]

It’s been a hot minute since I’ve been here! So much has happened: my lovely agent switching jobs, dealing with the onset of chronic illness, and having to leave my job because of that illness. I had given up writing after losing my agent. Fear is a dream killer. But I’m back 💜

[Samantha McClanahan @SamMcclanahan25]

I think my soul died a little today. Being self aware sometimes means traversing a dark road paved with broken glass.

[Samantha McClanahan @SamMcclanahan25]

I used to be good at standing up for myself. Stopped giving a fuck what others thought. But somewhere down my road, I lost that and I hate myself for it. I find myself not wanting to rock any boats and keep others happy at a great expense to myself.

[Samantha McClanahan @SamMcclanahan25]

Is it because of time, changing of ages? Is it because I’m a mom now? No. It’s because I spent most of my days being called a bitch (and worse) for doing what was right for me and not tolerating bullshit that was thrown my way and I got tired of it. I got tired of the arguments.

[Samantha McClanahan @SamMcclanahan25]

I knew what was happening when it happened and I let it because I didn’t want to argue. I sat there and took an embarrassing hit and now I’m wondering why. But I know the answer. I have a home and kids and they require money.

[Samantha McClanahan @SamMcclanahan25]

I sat quietly and agreed with whatever was said. I knew after a few minutes that my issues didn’t matter to them because I was a cog in a wheel and I could hurt their bottom line. It was apparent that they will never be wrong. But I’m mad that I let myself get steamrolled.

[Samantha McClanahan @SamMcclanahan25]

The worst part? I sat there, pissed as hell and frustrated with fucking tears running down my face. I’m an angry crier and it sucks. And every time my mouth opened to refute or defend, I shut it. I had obviously already rocked the boat since they came out swinging. So I stopped.

[Samantha McClanahan @SamMcclanahan25]

And not once. Not twice. Multiple times repeated the same sentence of how I did a certain aspect wrong. An aspect that had no bearing on the issue I had brought up and an aspect that had previously been mentioned once, still not in a job performance meeting.

[Samantha McClanahan @SamMcclanahan25]

Tonight I had asked for a meeting at work to discuss issues I was having. There were big issues but I was willing to let them go if we could get every day things to a good place. But the person I wanted to address deflected my issues by telling me where I failed at my job.

[Samantha McClanahan @SamMcclanahan25]

And I got tired of losing friends even though, in retrospect, they were shitty friends who always needed things their way and had little regard for what I wanted or needed. But I don’t make friends easy so I stopped standing up. And I hate myself for it.

[Samantha McClanahan @SamMcclanahan25]

Y’all, writing is hard 😒 especially when I can’t have my main talking like me and over-using the words dude, like, or f*ck.

Yes, I do talk like a fifteen year old boy and, no, I can’t stop myself. I mean, I could, but why change perfection?

[Samantha McClanahan @SamMcclanahan25]

#NewProfilePic

[Samantha McClanahan @SamMcclanahan25]

Eggs: $3.25

Gas: $2.88

Lunch: $13.00

Knowing which manuscript I am going to devote all my free time to: priceless

#amwritingfiction #horror #missing411

[Samantha McClanahan @SamMcclanahan25]

I know November is already in full swing but I think I’m going to try my hand at getting 50k on my current WIP. Why not?

[Samantha McClanahan @SamMcclanahan25]

Chris Pine is EVERYTHING!

That’s all I wanted to say.