Sam Nobrega

A$AP Nob

[Slazac 🇪🇺🇺🇦🇹🇼🌐 @TrueSlazac]

Insane edit on my fyp

[John Wicker Park @phonybone]

I’ve pooped in gas stations you wouldn’t even pee in

[Hudi Productions @hudsononeill15]

Never a doubt! 😁😁😁 #chiefskingdom

[Dillon Cheverere @DCheverere]

I can't decide if this guy is a total boner or the coolest mf in the world

[Nick Adams @NickAdamsinUSA]

A few weeks ago, I noticed something disturbing. A Pizza Hut delivery van had started making regular drop-offs in my neighborhood. I couldn't let this stand.

I spotted the same Pizza Hut van earlier tonight and sprung to action. I jumped in my six-seat golf cart and quickly caught up to the van, following in hot pursuit en route to its destination. It pulled into a driveway a few blocks from mine, and before the delivery boy could even get out, I was sprinting past him to the front door.

I was greeted by a frazzled single mother stepping out of a room full of rowdy 8-year-olds. She looked like a more attractive version of Taylor Swift, somewhat resembling Ashlee Simpson. "Can I help you? Are you with Pizza Hut," she asked, visibly confused. "Pizza Hut is not what I do, but Pizza Hut is why I am here," I said sternly. "What do you think you're doing, exactly, bringing Pizza Hut into this neighborhood? Are you aware of how woke that pizza is?"

She had no idea what I was talking about, so I educated her about Pizza Hut's crimes. I informed her of my boycott and demanded she stop ordering woke pizza in MY neighborhood. "I–I... I had no idea. I'm so so sorry, Mr. Adams," she said, holding back tears. After she gathered herself, she told me her name was Diana and swore to make things right by me.

"Listen here, Di," I said. "I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt on this, but you need to make a stand NOW." She nodded in agreement and angrily told off the delivery boy, refusing the pizza and refusing to pay.

"Now, what am I going to do about my 8-year-old son and his 11 friends here for his birthday party?" she wondered aloud. "Do you have a grill? I know a guy who can bring me some meat," I replied.

I called up Mario and spelled out the situation. "I need some meat. This lovely young sheila has a room full of aspiring alpha males who need to learn what a proper steak tastes like," I told him. "I'll be right there, Nick," Mario said.

About an hour later, we were all seated in the backyard, enjoying Mario's beautiful steaks. I was telling Di about my recent round of 73 at the Island Course, and she was awestruck.
"My ex-husband always used to say that course was harder than Copperhead, where the pros play," she said. "You must be a really good athlete... You sure look like one."

"I am. I make no apology for dominating on... and off the course, Diana." I said with a twinkle in my eye. "It's so convenient that you're here," she said. "I have a flatscreen TV that I need mounted in my bedroom, and it's too big for me to do myself. I've been waiting for someone with a masculine build who works out to handle it for me."

"It's your lucky day, sweetheart," I said as we headed inside. "I'm very handy around the house."

[law dog, esq. @ggooooddddoogg]

2013: why would anyone care what the losers on reddit think

2023: the losers on reddit are the last remaining source on the internet for reviews of products and services that aren’t paid for or some kind of scam

[Sam Nobrega @Sam_Nobs]

@okpistol A little left over bacon grease while the meat cools off. Sunny side up and then add a little water to the pan and cover it to steam

[Sam Nobrega @Sam_Nobs]

@PatrickWhalen2 @TaylorTwellman @MLS @SportingKC Stuck in traffic on I-35, pulling through Culvers, walking into Hy-Vee

[Sam Nobrega @Sam_Nobs]

@Always_TAMARow Damn idk why this was so devastating, the thumbs up is just piercing

[Sam Nobrega @Sam_Nobs]

@Always_TAMARow The frequency with which I bang is quite high

[Nick Adams @NickAdamsinUSA]

You can measure the quality of a man by the size of his carbon footprint.

An American alpha male should emit, at minimum, more CO2 than a Canadian family of four.

[Sam Nobrega @Sam_Nobs]

@PatrickWhalen2 Absolute banger

[Sam Nobrega @Sam_Nobs]

Mbappe should have done more to help his team win honestly

[Sam Nobrega @Sam_Nobs]

@Tom_Verde1 1) Levita Bayless

[Sam Nobrega @Sam_Nobs]

Online shopping for Christmas gifts and this company has the audacity to ask for tip. Someday I’m gonna go to buy a car and the salesman’s gonna swing around an iPad asking for a 20% tip on a Ford Focus

[Sam Nobrega @Sam_Nobs]

@noah__the__boa Very close to spoiling it for you, glad I didn’t.

[Sam Nobrega @Sam_Nobs]

White Lotus death predictions: Bert, Greg, Mia. Lock it in.

[Sam Nobrega @Sam_Nobs]

@bhumps40 Fishing is a sacred and honest thing. Despicable behavior.

[Sam Nobrega @Sam_Nobs]

@okpistol Couldn’t agree more. Different class. Marcelo in the making