Sam Mathis

Contrary to popular belief, I know exactly what I’m doing.

[Sam Mathis @SamanthaMathi16]

This is like the Super Bowl for people who don't know what the super bowl is #TonyAwards

[trash jones @jzux]

deleting my dating apps because i want to meet someone the old fashioned way (he sells me onions, i sell him jars of spiced peaches)

[Sam Mathis @SamanthaMathi16]

@IRSnews I filed in the middle of March, where’s my refund?

[relatable @byreIatable]

Me: I need to focus on school

Friend: hey

Me: you're right, I should skip class tomorrow

[Eli McCann @EliMcCann]

I identified an apricot tree yesterday because it looked like popcorn was popping on it so don’t tell me my childhood of 3-hour weekly church blocks were a waste of time.

[Sam Mathis @SamanthaMathi16]

@tdstelecom literally sucks. Our internet is constantly going in and out. #overthis

[Eli McCann @EliMcCann]

Texting “hey! We still on for tonight?” is usually code for “hey! I hope we’re not still on for tonight and you’re the one who cancels!”

[Eli McCann @EliMcCann]

I have a friend who struggles with opposite sex attraction and I admire him so much for staying active in Sunday brunch even though we are extremely abusive toward him and don’t let him order the food we’re having. He’s such an example to other people with OSA.

[derecka @dereckapurnell]

Biden: "This is not America."

Narrator: "It was America."

[CNN @CNN]

Vice President Mike Pence: “To those who wreaked havoc in our Capitol today: You did not win. Violence never wins. Freedom wins. And this is still the people’s house. As we reconvene … the world will again witness the resilience and strength of our democracy.”

[Sam Mathis @SamanthaMathi16]

@MeredithMarks0 legit made me tear up tonight. 😢

[Sam Mathis @SamanthaMathi16]

@TheRealJenShah is probably my least favorite RHOSL. Like she’s super toxic. #notafan

[Jeopardy! @Jeopardy]

Jeopardy! is saddened to share that Alex Trebek passed away peacefully at home early this morning, surrounded by family and friends. Thank you, Alex.

[Sam Mathis @SamanthaMathi16]

@reallynotathug As someone who works in surgery I’ll pray for you.

[Sam Mathis @SamanthaMathi16]

That’s my sister!!!

[Sam Mathis @SamanthaMathi16]

@nbcsnl is killing it tonight 😂 Kate McKinnon is my favorite!

[the wicked witch of the east bro @kpfeffss]

I miss being a kid where the only thing that confused me was whether Mary Kate and Ashley are two people or three people and now I’m an a adult and I’m confused by taxes and whether Mary Kate and Ashley are two people or three people

[tom @pilau]

man: you buried my grandmother in the wrong plot

me: I guess you could say I made a [turns to camera] grave mistake

[Russell M. Nelson @NelsonRussellM]

Life without God is a life filled with fear. Life with God is a life filled with peace. #GeneralConference

[relatable @byreIatable]

*applies for financial aid*
Fafsa: i got ya a dollar