Sarah Afkami

jaded optimist | reluctant seeker | confused yid

[Sarah Afkami @SarahAfkami]

I start all my aggressive-sounding emails with an "hola" because I'm a delightful professional.

[Sarah Afkami @SarahAfkami]

@StepMomHannah Hilarious! I need you on Netflix with a talk show

[Sarah Afkami @SarahAfkami]

@theosal Lol iirc she was going all the way back to her house in Brooklyn to make Brady breakfast beforehand

[ADHD Jesse @adhdjesse]

The ADHD urge to abandon a project and lose all motivation once you can see the finish line.

[Andy Compton @andycompton_]

"We want grandkids." Best I can do is write a screenplay about the childhood trauma you caused me

[Sarah Afkami @SarahAfkami]

@elizableu Dr Paul 🤠

[Sarah Afkami @SarahAfkami]

@TimJDillon I heard it was 13 million, can anyone confirm?

[Sarah Afkami @SarahAfkami]

@SammieSamJames Lolll 🔥🔥🔥

[Sarah Afkami @SarahAfkami]

@SamanthaKellieS Lol loving this tone

[Sarah Afkami @SarahAfkami]

@champagne_paji @APompliano Why? Sadistic fomo? Gross. It makes you a tool who doesn’t see how unjust the legacy financial system truly is.

[Sarah Afkami @SarahAfkami]

@CyrusMMcQueen Erykah Badu

[The Boston Globe @BostonGlobe]

Counselors punched by campers. Staff hired only days before camp started. Hoards of sick kids. Untenable delays of food and supplies.

Welcome to Camp Quinebarge — the “Fyre Fest” of overnight camps. https://t.co/fHHt7I6Xx4

[Sarah Afkami @SarahAfkami]

#kenstarr is relevant again?!

*dusts off three thousand “Lewinsky spank bank” jokes*

[Sarah Afkami @SarahAfkami]

@mowrey__mowrey https://t.co/Qhf93XvLPn

[Sarah Afkami @SarahAfkami]

@mowrey__mowrey Whoa you are intuitive af. The latter half of Cancer to the first quarter of Leo is considered the “3 negative weeks” in the Hebrew calendar

[Sarah Afkami @SarahAfkami]

@mollyrubenlong Haha pls don’t burst my bubble

[Sarah Afkami @SarahAfkami]

@DeniseJena Lol did u pre-marinate with oil or smashed avocado? Game-changer, I swear

[Sarah Afkami @SarahAfkami]

Just quoted and googled this so... you’re welcome 💀💀💀

[Leanna Orr @LeannaO]

Europeans' out of offices are like "I will not be working until 18 September. All emails will be automatically deleted."

Americans: "I am in the hospital. Email responses may be delayed by up to 30 mins. Sorry for the inconvenience! If urgent, please reach me in the ER at..."

[Sarah Afkami @SarahAfkami]

@Alex_Seligsohn Lol you gotta watch @jtrain56 ‘s scream commentary on it if u dont.
Im obsessed w/how he breaks it all down— and I don’t even watch the show

[Brittnay Johnston @britthorsenoise]

I got my first tv support staff job at 25 and my pay was less than what I made as a 17 year old lifeguard in South Carolina #IASolidarity all day every day.