8/11♌️

Texas College Alum 🐂💜💛 Houston, Tx 🍇🍼

[8/11♌️ @SarahChenille]

Top 4 of 2019

I need to wear more dresses in 2020

[The Figen @TheFigen_]

A pregnant woman’s dog unexpectedly joins her maternity shoot, and these adorable photos are the result. ❤️

[eliz @eliza___v]

How it feels to type in ur email and password with a remote

[H*****Z @Hz___143]

I'm so glad that lady saw her and was able to help her!

[Cardi B @iamcardib]

I can’t thank you enough for joining me on stage!!! You are forever and always the blue print and a queen and you need to NEVER forget that!!! Fck all that humble shit you deserve to walk in your power everyday

[k a r y. @itsKARY_]

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[Miley Official @MileyCyrusBz]

HANNAH MONTANA SINGING THE CLIMB. I AM SOBBING 🥺

[Dr. Allison Wiltz @queenie4rmnola]

The history of sugar slavery runs deep throughout the Southern states, the Caribbean, and parts of South America. His performance was brilliant, thought provoking, well executed

[𝗱𝗮𝗻𝗻𝘆🫧💚 @beyoncegarden]

she’s actually so real for that omfg😭🥹

[Cardi B @iamcardib]

Yall this is Wavey😂……I’ll show yall touchdown soon ….

[cнєєкυ⋆｡🪐˚ ⋆ @Okay_Bye___]

"if u sleep in the afternoon, u won't sleep at night"

me in the afternoon and at night:

[Jonathan Slater @slater57649]

These are the people that should get Six figure bonuses

[solé @layxsnv]

Pop yo shit Chris , they Hate that😭

[Qadi @Bigqadi]

You can be both, meet in the middle, dance all night

[Khanya_Siluma🇿🇦 @SilumaKhanya]

Nobody talks about how the first 5 seconds of experiencing this is actually painful

[spicebae @spicebae_]

oh she...... she might've just did something 😳😳

[✞Righteous Rebellion𓅪 @OneManCircus87]

What happens when you drink 10 oz of Magnesium Citrate?
I’m glad you asked. Buckle up.

12:05 p.m. — It begins. You down the 10-ounce bottle like it’s a lukewarm PBR at a college tailgate. The label says “cherry flavored,” but it tastes like someone described cherry to a chemist who’s never eaten fruit. Regret sets in instantly.

12:06 p.m. — You grab a handful of chips for moral support. They’ll be liquified before they clear your throat, but who cares? Life still feels okay right now. Remember this peace. You’re about to enter the darkest chapter of your gastrointestinal history.

12:37 p.m. — The rumbling starts. There’s movement in the depths. You’ve got five pounds of impacted regret in your colon, and you just drank the “human-safe” version of Drano. You think it’s go time. It’s not. You get one sad little snake turd — a warm-up act.
That’s the last semi-solid you’ll see for the next 24 hours.

12:57 p.m. — The situation escalates. Your stomach is in full revolt. You have 0.3 seconds to make it to the toilet. Running is risky business — one wrong step and you’ll paint the walls. You pray for sphincter strength like never before as you waddle at Mach 3, pants half down, whispering, “Please, God, not like this.”

12:58 p.m. — Impact.
You sit, and the gates of hell open.
The explosion is biblical. It hits the back of the bowl with such violent force it ricochets like a sprinkler system.
You ask yourself, Is that blood?
No — false alarm. Just the ghost of a cherry pie you ate in 2004. The smell is unspeakable. The acoustics? Terrifying. The neighbors think you’re performing an exorcism.

1:06 p.m. – 8:30 p.m. — Time becomes meaningless. You’ve evacuated everything you’ve ever eaten, plus a few ancestral meals for good measure. Your colon feels like it’s been sandblasted with lava. The burn is real. You’re sweating. Crying. Contemplating life. You meet Jesus briefly, but He sends you back — says your mission’s not over yet.

8:37 p.m. — You’re empty. Broken. Reborn.
Your butthole? A war veteran.
Your spirit? In recovery.
You’ll never be the same, but you will survive.

Tomorrow, you’ll rise from the ashes, slip into your last clean pair of underwear, and waddle into Walmart like a survivor of gastrointestinal warfare — to buy a new toilet brush and reclaim your dignity.

You’ve earned it.

Feeling thankful. 💩🙏

[k a r y. @itsKARY_]

That microphone is not on at all.
Bless.

[k a r y. @itsKARY_]

“My mom makes money too. A lot of money”.

IKTR, Loyal.

[ThereGoTerry @ThereGoTerry]

Give JoJo a plaque too because quiet as it’s kept…