swayze

mamma mia stan account

[swayze @SarahWrase]

Sometimes when I get sad I remember that dick cheney shot a man in the face and that man then apologized to him

[$pencer 💖 @dumbgayshit]

What a way to open an album GOD it was that serious.
https://t.co/y2a5jOm26H

[sugarplum @proseluvr]

having more than two guests in a single day

[Molly @FSUmollz]

We, as a society, have moved past the need for Alexi Lalas to be on television

[camille :-) @dustytit]

throw hunter biden into the villa as a mid season bombshell

[🍍francesca🍍 @francescaaahhhh]

I think dua lipa has a moonstruck (1987) in her but the writer/director stars would have to align in inconceivable ways

[Adrian @grandeures]

I know this isn't what OP means but a biopic where Bourdain is for some reason 73 the whole time would be pretty funny

[Meg @megannn_lynne]

Watching an episode of Barefoot Contessa wherein her table-setting is a working model train, the cars full of M&Ms, so that guests can help themselves to The Candy Express during dinner. I am in love with her.

[Mike Drucker @MikeDrucker]

“I don’t listen to the news” is such a funny answer to “Were you ever drunk at your job?”

[Culter Dei Snapdragon @_cream_gravy]

The strongest natural predator of the elderly is now learning to hunt on its own

[Boze Herrington, Library Owl 😴🧙‍♀️ @SketchesbyBoze]

Several folks in my mentions said they quit watching the new Count of Monte Cristo because it features black actors. My friend, you are going to be shocked when you learn the ethnicity of Alexander Dumas.

[The Goddamned Penguin @who_shot_jgr]

writing an e-mail and getting a prompt from AI "this sentence could be more concise"

no. i am verbose. i am loquacious. i am long-winded and often redundant even. you machine, do not tell me how to form my words

[Kristi Yamaguccimane @TheWapplehouse]

He was John Fetterman

[owen cyclops @owenbroadcast]

medieval friend: you said your son just hangs out in a room all day painting freakish oddities. you didn’t give him a weird name or something did you?

mrs. bosch: …

[Mike Beauvais @MikeBeauvais]

STYLIST: What do you wanna wear at the Oscars?

KEVIN O’LEARY: I’m thinking the wallpaper in an overpriced Italian restaurant’s bathroom.

STYLIST: Okay.

KEVIN O’LEARY: Steven Seagal visiting the Kremlin.

STYLIST: Sure.

KEVIN O’LEARY: Splinter at Donatello’s wedding.

[Buck @Buck36043Buck]

If you don’t want to stop and read the historical site plaques then you’re not fucking coming

[Berwyn Choobs @sabatonfan69]

When I hear steely Dan I imagine that’s how a dog feels when it sees a bone or tennis ball

[7/11 Truther @DaveMcNamee3000]

Type of question Theo Von asks war criminals

[Molly @FSUmollz]

The best Winter Olympics moment was when Bob Costas’ pink eye got progressively worse each day