Sarah Ruggles

a virgin who can’t drive.

[Sarah Ruggles @Sarah_Ruggles]

I PROMISE TO START MY XMAS SHOPPING EARLY NEXT YEAR! Which means I will be starting at exactly this time (4:03 on Xmas eve) while tearing up at Best Buy because they are out of the blu-ray copy of Blade Runner, the only thing my dad wanted this year!

[Sarah Ruggles @Sarah_Ruggles]

How my parents see me when I’m home for the holidays:

[Sarah Ruggles @Sarah_Ruggles]

Friday Haiku, or, #friku:
Text from #Fuckboy past:
“Hey, hope you’re doing well!”
I text: “unsubscribe”.

[b ✨ @messianagrande]

the cheese grater at olive garden waiting for me to say “when” to my server https://t.co/VgmQ7GJnBj

[Sarah Ruggles @Sarah_Ruggles]

Friday Haiku, or, #friku:
The Razr is back,
#LizzieMcGuire is back,
But now I am old

[Sarah Ruggles @Sarah_Ruggles]

ETHAN CRAFT IS THE REASON THAT MILLENIALS LIKE FUCKBOYS. #teamgordo

[Sarah Ruggles @Sarah_Ruggles]

"OMG! We didn't get the cats anything this year"! -my stepmom doing last minute #xmas shopping

[Sarah Ruggles @Sarah_Ruggles]

Friday Haiku, or, #friku:
Cat eats Xmas tree
Cat shouldn't be eating that
Cat throws up on me

[b ✨ @messianagrande]

As if being called in to audition for an elf wasn't painful enough, I was the only one in a Christmas outfit.

World: 1 | Brandon: 0

[Sarah Ruggles @Sarah_Ruggles]

Just finished our @FemComique Stand-Up showcase! Thanks to the awesome @AlexKumin & @UTGTheater! #funnyladiez @cameronesposito

[Sarah Ruggles @Sarah_Ruggles]

Friday Haiku, or, #friku:
How did you get there
Toilet paper on my shoe?
I can go die now.

[Sarah Ruggles @Sarah_Ruggles]

Friday Haiku, or, #friku:
So, I'm still in bed.
It's 1 in the afternoon.
Sick? No, just lazy.

[Sarah Ruggles @Sarah_Ruggles]

Friday Haiku, or, #friku:
Reason I love fall:
Not having to shave my legs.
But did I before?

[Sarah Ruggles @Sarah_Ruggles]

Friday Haiku, or, #friku:
Be adult, make food
Don't get @jimmyjohns again...
"Thanks for your order"!

I am weak.

[Reese Witherspoon @ReeseW]

Seriously. 😂💖 #LegallyBlonde15

[Sarah Ruggles @Sarah_Ruggles]

Friday Haiku, or, #friku:
Sees hair-tie on ground:
"YAS! I totally need one"!
Considers. Leaves it.

[Sarah Ruggles @Sarah_Ruggles]

Friday Haiku, or, #friku:
#TugOfWar tonight
3 more performances left
Go go go go go

[Sarah Ruggles @Sarah_Ruggles]

Closing week of #tugofwar @chicagoshakes!That's only 24 hours of theater in 4 performances,& about 100 wig changes! https://t.co/FqcvJG1DTk

[Drama Book Shop @dramabookshop]

Bard on the wire: how Chicago scored a hit with Shakespeare and Leonard Cohen | Stage | The Guardian https://t.co/0WJS611qcx

[Sarah Ruggles @Sarah_Ruggles]

@EFred08 #followyourbliss