sav💓💭

shit happens

[🦉Hootz🐍 🇵🇸 @YngviCom]

the female body for some reason has tons of mechanisms to gain weight unrelated to consumption, the male body on the other hand has virtually none, meaning if you're fat as a man its entirely your own fault you hungry hungry hippo

[Solar Flare @solarflare001]

Was at a rave high as fuck on mushrooms and when the fog machines came on my Jewish friend clutched his Star of David necklace and said “Omg it’s the chambers” and that really fucked with my trip

[Charlie James @malecowgirl]

i arrive to your pool party, wearing goggles i brought from home, ready to enter the pool - i bring no treat to share, no verbal greeting. this is about access to a pool for me

[maya @mayaviatwitta]

we’ll jump off that bridge when we get to it

[mitra @mitrajoy_]

and if you see me celebrating the fourth of july it’s because I want a hot dog not because I support the government

[maybe: diane @dianelyssa]

friendly reminder that the u.s. women’s team has won the women’s world cup four times!!!!! people seem to keep leaving women’s records out of these world cup conversations but women’s soccer is still soccer!! women are people!!

[Papii🥤 @ammalusty]

Back in my day you could go to Walmart at 2:00am and buy a shotgun and a live lobster

[𐌁𐌉Ᏽ 𐌕𐌉𐌌𐌉 @OrevaZSN]

“Time to lock in” - me at 3pm when my shift started at 9am

[Cody Core’s Burner @codycoreburner]

Love her but what are we even talking about

[dior ✞ @deeore5]

"get his ass" is so hilarious. it's like the modern version of "seize him"

[໊ @oockreg]

I mean, if he’s gonna be there for life, he might as well make himself useful.

[𝒢𝒾𝓁𝒷ℯ𝓇𝓉 @AbakpaJob]

wine drunk doesn't even make its self known. you just be relaxing then all of sudden you start feeling sexy as f'ck.

[Shannon @gardengirl125]

A washing machine minute and a real minute are NOTTT the same

[Raw @R4wf0ru]

my biggest fear is sitting on grass in shorts and a bug crawls in my pussy