Alton Savoye

State farm is legally obliged to get me the girl from 7A and a hot tub. Southern by the grace of my geographical location.

[Austin Statesman @statesman]

UPDATE: Few long lines in Travis Co., more than 51,000 have voted, officials say https://t.co/f2KhtCAmhK https://t.co/1xKPdwndLV

[Kyle Smith @rkylesmith]

A Mormon coup would be the most clean-cut and polite military takeover ever. https://t.co/tM0Vq6cFFq

[PRICE 🫶🏼 @iFeelFreedxm]

@IGGYAZALEA your music saved my life, I was in a coma and then I heard 'Fancy' so I woke up and turned it off.

[Alton Savoye @Savoye95]

I wish I had a legitimate response to tell my boss why I'm not in the office rn

[Alton Savoye @Savoye95]

@riley_brayton sad day for Mike https://t.co/cN79IfxOWd

[Total Frat Move @totalfratmove]

Dartmouth SAE, Famous For Hazing, Has Been Suspended By Nationals, Derecognized By School: https://t.co/t089IUMzw3

[Alton Savoye @Savoye95]

10/10 regret having a 16oz red bull at this time of day

[College GameDay @CollegeGameDay]

10 years ago today. "4th and 5, the National Championship on the line..." https://t.co/nUq04sbZ62

[Twin$nWin$ @twins_n_wins]

when you think everything's going fine, but then they stop texting back

[Alton Savoye @Savoye95]

@AlanTownsell #HappyHolidays

[⋆ @colska]

PLEASE RETWEET I WANNA MOVE BACK TO TEXAS !!!!!

[Texas IFC @TexasIFC]

Not an April Fool's joke, Roundup will take place the weekend of April 1st. Get ready for #Roundup2k16 Longhorns.

[Alton Savoye @Savoye95]

@Chelslmaldonado you look absolutely delighted

[Alton Savoye @Savoye95]

@Abby_Garfinkel only 3 more weeks 😁

[Alton Savoye @Savoye95]

@Abby_Garfinkel thankful I have you to look at 😘

[Raymond Stone @StoneLord6]

only at Walmart in Houston

[Alton Savoye @Savoye95]

@KeithDomino @Abby_Garfinkel @ratchhhevanich low key wanna get Charles in on the action

[Alton Savoye @Savoye95]

@Abby_Garfinkel @totalsratmove @yeah_okay_what you're the one who likes me having a beard, I kinda like being clean shaven soooo

[Alton Savoye @Savoye95]

I love Houston, but I feel the exact opposite when I'm on any road in between 4-630 Monday through Friday