Scarlet Tanager

Yes, it's me. No, I didn't leave.
You were just looking in the wrong place.

[Scarlet Tanager @ScarletTanager8]

@TrueFactsStated OK

this is your chance.

grab a bottle of Bordeaux, knock on his door, and introduce yourself (dont use real name, make up something intriguing like Pierre LePouf).

we have to get inside if we're ever going to find out what un-named hostile foreign government he's working for.

[Scarlet Tanager @ScarletTanager8]

@JasonInTheHam @RonFilipkowski Yeah, sure.

And we have oil. More than anyone. And we can drill for it if anyone pisses us off.

Trump told me so.

And you, like he, don't really get how things work.

[Scarlet Tanager @ScarletTanager8]

@TrueFactsStated He's either gone totally paranoid, with the Sniper's Arch, White House bunker, helipad, & rooftop drone defense, which makes me happy

Or as someone said below, he's preparing for a full-blown, militarized takeover of the gov on Jan 6, 2029, which makes me sad

prepare for both

[Scarlet Tanager @ScarletTanager8]

@SecWar Kiss up more, you pussy-assed, drunken talk show fluffer.

It's the only thing that got you that job, and it's the only way you'll keep it.

[Scarlet Tanager @ScarletTanager8]

@TheRickWilson "...Andrew and Tristan were moved into a roach infested cell..."

That's no way to treat roaches. WTF 😠

[Scarlet Tanager @ScarletTanager8]

@KatieMiller Oh, give us a break.

One call to the orange baboon you work for, and he'll toss you some pocket change for legal expenses.

(unless of course you did some crimes for him & he's getting the blame, in which case enjoy prison, coffee girl that he only met once)😄

[Scarlet Tanager @ScarletTanager8]

@TrueFactsStated Whatever the number, it's small potatoes according to Commander Bonespurs.

[Scarlet Tanager @ScarletTanager8]

@TrueFactsStated $5.00 as of yesterday for regular.

not tracking diesel. there's only so much a person can take.

[Scarlet Tanager @ScarletTanager8]

@TrueFactsStated Well, this news didn't take long to filter thru to the consumer.

Yesterday on the way out at 10am: regular gas $4.29
Yesterday on the way back at 10pm: regular gas $4.89

Thanks Obama (or Hillary?)

[Scarlet Tanager @ScarletTanager8]

@TrueFactsStated It's amazing what they can do with wax these days.

[Scarlet Tanager @ScarletTanager8]

@nicksortor Sure, nobody needs to listen to the law.

You're a sick fuck.

[Scarlet Tanager @ScarletTanager8]

@FirstLadyOffice @MELANIATRUMP @FLOTUS @WhiteHouse Please use elevated creative vision to make more paperclip underwear, @MELANIATRUMP

That's what I voted for.

[Scarlet Tanager @ScarletTanager8]

@TrueFactsStated He's an old monster, in a chair.

[Scarlet Tanager @ScarletTanager8]

@jacksonhinkle Iran controls the Strait.

The Houthis now control the Red Sea.

Algae controls the Reflecting Pool.

And according to people in-the-know, Natalie Harp controls his bowels & bladder.

[Scarlet Tanager @ScarletTanager8]

@RapidResponse47 @POTUS He controls the Strait, like he controls the algae in the Reflecting Pool, and like he controls his bowels.

[Scarlet Tanager @ScarletTanager8]

@FoxNews Great.

So we get to hear him tell the story of many big, strong men coming up to him with tears in their eyes to thank him for personally pulling thousands of people from the burning rubble of the WTC & Pentagon.

Then we'll eat hamberders.

[Scarlet Tanager @ScarletTanager8]

@TrueFactsStated It was surreal.

tower1 news broke on the radio and turned on TV to see it burning, then watched tower2 get hit in real time.

then Pentagon, then Shanksville.

yeah, it was surreal.

like wtf?...WTF?...WHAT THE F???...WHAT THE ACTUAL F?????

[Scarlet Tanager @ScarletTanager8]

@LisaForCongress @Republicans Are you kidding?

Grindr is down.

Every time I come to a GOP event, Grindr is down.

And you people can't seem to fix it.

I'm just going to stay home and watch some beastiality porn & eat some bagel dogs.

It's just as good, and costs a lot less. 😠

[Scarlet Tanager @ScarletTanager8]

@TrueFactsStated Trump shit his pants and the crew called a CODE RED-EVAC

this is not a drill.

[Scarlet Tanager @ScarletTanager8]

@TrueFactsStated Asimov was a fiction writer. He wrote some fictional laws in 1942 to prevent his readers from being scared shitless & throwing out his book.

He's gone now, and The Laws remain only as a quaint, naive blip of fiction from the Before Times.