Alan the Antelope

I sexually identify as a 1996 Mazda 626 (White, 4 door). Unapologetic centrist. If you're far left or right, I probably hate you. Owned by a cat.

[Jack Cocchiarella 🌹 @JDCocchiarella]

Elon Musk is showing all of us why we should tax the HELL out of billionaires.

[Ted Lieu @tedlieu]

I’m going to eat some Kale salad today. And make fun of Marjorie Taylor Greene. And watch the video of lots of woke people booing @elonmusk at Dave Chappelle’s show. And work on some climate change legislation. And listen to Elton John.

Because, freedom. And

I’m still standing.

[Alan the Antelope @SciGifs]

@GuyAnde01948458 @fesshole Fuck them, Guy. You do you / dog / both.

[Alan the Antelope @SciGifs]

@fesshole I think the same about my wife. I've been sneaking extra sugar into her tea.

[Alan the Antelope @SciGifs]

@KayGee85630605 @TheSylvreWolfe @petekang3 Someone fainting after getting a shot?!

HOLD THE FRONT PAGE.

Jesus fucking Christ you people are so fucking gullible.

[Alan the Antelope @SciGifs]

@Tim56525625 @JakeSkinner_NV @GeorgeTakei Yeah? Every time I walk past the microwave I piss myself. It's worse if it's switched on. Oh, and don't talk to me about magnets.

[Alan the Antelope @SciGifs]

@JakeSkinner_NV @GeorgeTakei I guess they should thank him for not being dead. So, there's that. Everybody suffered. You aren't special. I couldn't see dying relatives and I lost a business. Don't see me bitching. On the flip side I have a lot of elderly relatives who are still with us. Shit had to be done.

[Alan the Antelope @SciGifs]

@rapalert6

[Alan the Antelope @SciGifs]

@ctrlmood @rapalert6

[Alan the Antelope @SciGifs]

@ilovenostalgia Taking a wild punt here but, is it because someone put some tape on it?

[Alan the Antelope @SciGifs]

@Beno_ldn Leave Meghan alone please. She's just trying to protect her investment.

[Alan the Antelope @SciGifs]

@MildChonkySalsa @TheUSASingers @SnarkBolan Oh there's plenty. Where would you like me to start?

[The USA Singers @TheUSASingers]

Space Karen’s pronouns are actually Pillsbury/Doughboy.

[Alan the Antelope @SciGifs]

@hwinkler4real Wasn't he covered in bees at some point?

[Alan the Antelope @SciGifs]

@GregBurke85 @elonmusk Two words. Reality detachment. It often happens with rich types. Nothing to see here really.

[Scott Kelly @StationCDRKelly]

.@elonmusk Elon, please don’t mock and promote hate toward already marginalized and at-risk-of-violence members of the #LGBTQ+ community. They are real people with real feelings. Furthermore, Dr Fauci is a dedicated public servant whose sole motivation was saving lives.

[Alan the Antelope @SciGifs]

@palacesteve70 @matt_mcclements @PazParry123 @cRonaldogoated @fesshole He drives a five year old, ex-lease BMW / Audi and doesn't indicate at junctions or when changing lanes, has a Peloton subscription and buys 'Taste the Difference' toilet paper.

[Alan the Antelope @SciGifs]

Man those Brazilians need to work on their bullshit diving #CROBRA

[Alan the Antelope @SciGifs]

@musksfiller @fesshole

[Alan the Antelope @SciGifs]

@ThePollBloke @fesshole 41% Oasis?