Scottish Gorilla

Large human with primate tendencies. Eater of all the animals. Husband, father and gifted farter. Often attempts to throw heavy things with suboptimal results.

[Scottish Gorilla @ScotlandGorilla]

Just saw what I think is a woman at the airport. May have been a leather ashtray.

[Scottish Gorilla @ScotlandGorilla]

I went to a vegan restaurant yesterday for lunch. They were all looking at me like a was some sort of spy from the carnivore side.

[Scottish Gorilla @ScotlandGorilla]

@beeeeeeeeech @matSOawesome Hahahaha!!! We didn't thrown Braemar this weekend but if we had thrown a 30lbs one I sure as shit would have won!

[Scottish Gorilla @ScotlandGorilla]

Does #traininglab work? PRed Open Stone, LWFD, HWFD, Sheaf and WFH in one day. Not too shabby. Thanks @beeeeeeeeech, @matSOawesome and crew!

[Scottish Gorilla @ScotlandGorilla]

@beeeeeeeeech @YouTube That 30lb stone comment wasn't a shot at me was it?

[Scottish Gorilla @ScotlandGorilla]

I own multiple 3 tine pitchforks and I don't think this is odd. #HVII

[Scottish Gorilla @ScotlandGorilla]

"You Never Even Call Me By Name" by David Allen Coe really is the perfect country/western song. #redneckmusic

[Scottish Gorilla @ScotlandGorilla]

Games week bitches!

[Scottish Gorilla @ScotlandGorilla]

@SilentMikke Pick an All-NBA Alcholic Team. I got Rod Strickland, Chris Mullins, Vin Baker, Shawn Kemp and Arvydas Sabonis. Who you got?

[Scottish Gorilla @ScotlandGorilla]

So...the Tooth Fairy, Santa Claus and Easter Bunny are the B&E types but like Robin Hood, just spreading Christianity and dental hygiene.

[Scottish Gorilla @ScotlandGorilla]

Easter Bunny thing is odd. To celebrate the the Resurrection of Christ a human size rabbit is going to break into your home and leave candy.

[Scottish Gorilla @ScotlandGorilla]

@matSOawesome F that. I only use 35s. I write 45 on them with a sharpie. Terrible for actual strength but does wonders for your confidence.

[Scottish Gorilla @ScotlandGorilla]

Family Guy- best show running. Chappelle Show is the best ever #ripCharlieMurphy then Eastbound and Down and Flight of the ConChords follow.

[Scottish Gorilla @ScotlandGorilla]

Fairy dust is just pollen and Dora the Explorer is a drug mule. Kids shows are full of lies.

[Scottish Gorilla @ScotlandGorilla]

Tempo is totally underrated in lifting. Lifted on Tuesday and still sore. Weights were not heavy but the tempo was fast.

[Scottish Gorilla @ScotlandGorilla]

@matSOawesome "What you need is a shit ton of Valtrex!"

[Scottish Gorilla @ScotlandGorilla]

Some days are bad, but at least I am not driving a Vespa wearing a tshirt that has a dog riding a Harley on it. The dog is tougher than you.

[Scottish Gorilla @ScotlandGorilla]

Bass in a wine glass? Because I am classy. Well, more lazy than classy...

[Scottish Gorilla @ScotlandGorilla]

One of my kids eats only bacon, fish, chicken and Goldfish. She is tall, lean and mean. May adopt it, clearly works better than my diet.

[Scottish Gorilla @ScotlandGorilla]

The rain and wind today forced me into using an umbrella, which I hate. I looked like a cross between a Yeti and Mary Poppins.