Scotty National

Parody account of an Indy newspaper.

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EU: As Pro-EU campaign launches, the SNP restate their entirely consistent approach to staying in EU but leaving UK

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News: SNP announce formal coalition with Scottish Green Party. In unrelated news, Ventriloquist announces formal coalition with Ventriloquist Dummy.

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Guide: Want to vote for a nationalist party but unsure if that is a good or bad thing? Use our detailed flowchart to tell what sort of nationalism is good or bad.

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Small ads: Looking for 2nd preference nationalist votes. Willing to trade unused set of principles - contact P. Harvie

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Voting: Just a reminder that if you vote SNP and don't want your vote to be used to justify another referendum in the next couple of years, simply follow the procedure below:
+ Submit a 10,000 word essay why
+ Print it on parchment
+ Get it signed by all 8 great-grandparents

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Voting - unclear on who to vote for to get independence? Do you want:
A hard border with UK + new currency: Vote SNP
A hard border with gun towers + William Wallace Groats: Vote Alba
A hard border made with recycled cardboard + tree leaves as currency: Vote Scottish Green

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News: Unsure what currency indy Scotland will use? Simply use our free SNP currency plan decision maker. Cut out & form into a cube.

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News: SNP announce what they are seeking to do in their first 100 days if re-elected.

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News: As SNP confirm a border with England is likely after independence, it is confirmed how it will be funded.

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News: SNP new spokesperson directly answers the question on whether there will be a border with England after independence.

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News: Nicola Sturgeon states '“Nobody in the SNP wants to see a border between Scotland and England”, confirming that various solutions have been proposed post independence, such as using camouflage paint or giant mirrors.

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News: As SNP candidate announces that a border with England would create jobs, thousands of Scots urged to retrain as border guards, bricklayers, trench diggers, or searchlight makers.

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Recovery: As Scottish Labour announce their Recovery Plan, the SNP point out that they also have a detailed recovery plan:

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News: As various polls show that support for independence is slipping, SNP clarify that the 'Will of the Scottish people' referred to a guy called Will from Glasgow who is an SNP member and will vote for indy.

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News: If re-elected SNP state they will create NHS National Pharmaceutical Company to develop new drugs. "Look at our success in delivering ferries on time and budget or the £bn bridge that can be used anytime except if it is windy in Scotland."

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Politics:SNP unveil all the amazing things they will do to help the poorest in Scotland if elected in a devolved government.
In unrelated news:SNP insist they really couldn't have done anything to help the poorest in Scotland over the last 14 years because their hands were tied.

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News: SNP deny that they are hiding the push on independence in their election leaflets. 'It is very clearly there, in white, on a white background, size 1 font, in the margin, as plain as day. So a vote for us is because the voter wants a referendum at all costs.'

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SNP Manifesto: For those unable to read the full manifesto, we have attached a summary.

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Manifesto: Download your free copy of the SNP manifesto here.

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News: "Vote for SNP for any of the great giveaways we promise in our manifesto and we won't use your vote wholly to justify a new referendum", announced an SNP spokesperson.

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News: SNP manifesto promises bikes to kids. 'We are experts in this area as we have been taking the electorate for a ride for 14 years...'