Classified

[Classified @Scrap_Iron]

Winter must be coming. My artificial knee hurts.

[Classified @Scrap_Iron]

Know what I got for Christmas? Jack.

[Classified @Scrap_Iron]

Huge food fight in the COBRA Cafe today. I've got pudding in my nethers.

[Classified @Scrap_Iron]

Man, the COBRA Cafe chow is the WORST just after a holiday.

[Classified @Scrap_Iron]

Great. Came back from a long weekend to find the basement flooded. With mustard gas. I'm looking at you, @Cobra_BAT

[Classified @Scrap_Iron]

Ever cooked a turkey with a anti-armor microwave defense system? 'cause I have.

[Classified @Scrap_Iron]

Have decided it may be time to retire. Looking for a nice place in the woods, near an Air Force base.

[Classified @Scrap_Iron]

I've decided to start forwarding every chain letter I get to @ITViper until he finds some way to block them from our network entirely.

[Classified @Scrap_Iron]

Just switched @Cobra_Immortal's left shoe with a slightly heavier shoe. You don't get it now, but you will in a year.

[Classified @Scrap_Iron]

Going on-site for an op this weekend. Looking forward to expensing my bar tabs.

[Classified @Scrap_Iron]

Long story short: It's not permanent, but it will take at least 6 weeks to wear off. In the meanwhile, I might be moving a little slow.

[Classified @Scrap_Iron]

Woke up to 3 inches of water in the basement. And a live Caiman. Very funny, @croc_master.

[Classified @Scrap_Iron]

I think @ITViper didn't appreciate my late night network weapons test. I should send him a fruit basket.

[Classified @Scrap_Iron]

We tried selling Heat Seeking Voting Booths to the Pentagon, but they saw through our ruse. I shouldn't have used so much C4.

[Classified @Scrap_Iron]

Operation Trick|Treat was a success. Effects should start to hit the suburbs in 36 hours. It's gonna be a slobberknocker!

[Classified @Scrap_Iron]

What happened to you @Cobra_Baroness? All you do now is talk about your 'action figures.' We all know it's a metaphor for marital aids.

[Classified @Scrap_Iron]

COBRA has a Halloween-themed lunch in the cafe today. Score!

[Classified @Scrap_Iron]

Man, I really want some peanuts right now.

[Classified @Scrap_Iron]

Great. Someone gave @GUNGH0 my cell number. Dude, put your pants on. Seriously. Why would you send me that?

[Classified @Scrap_Iron]

If Cobra is going to insist that I be on-call 24x7, at least they could pick up my mobile bill.