Steve

It's a v long journey. Quest to better understand #trauma, #abuse and #darktetrad personas.
Mindfulness 🙏 Awareness 💚 Compassion
#INFP #cptsd #Mentalhealth

[thatdmnnkelly 😈 @thatdmnnkelly]

That mask fall off quick when people don’t get their way with you 🎭😂

[Oluwabukola🌸 @Bukolababii]

Stay away from people who wanted to believe the worst about you.. even relatives.

[Steve @SearchingTLight]

@collinstimbela_ Actually, exactly the same can apply vice versa. Had first hand experience. Better to use person/they. Great post though

[Steve @SearchingTLight]

@CoachElizabethS 🙏

[Elizabeth Shaw - Overcoming Narcissist Abuse. @CoachElizabethS]

The thing about a narcissist is that problem-solving is off the table.
You're not dealing with someone who wants to resolve anything.
Instead, you're facing an unreasonable person who deflects, blames, attacks, plays the victim, and resorts to the silent treatment-all to avoid accountability and keep control.

[Steve @SearchingTLight]

@libriscent 🙏

[Libriscent @libriscent]

A lot of people are not lazy. They are burned out, traumatized, grieving, unsupported, chronically stressed, or trying to survive impossible circumstances.

[Steve @SearchingTLight]

@nanstevensjob @beyoumf Quite like that! Never heard it before

[The_Narc_Decoder @NarcDecoder]

Narcissists do not fall in love with you.

They fall in love with the version of you they can use.

In the beginning they become you.

This is called mirroring. And it is one of the most dangerous features of narcissistic relationships.

During the idealisation phase they study you. Your values. Your wounds. Your dreams. The things that make you feel seen.

And then they reflect all of it back to you.

They love what you love. They finish your sentences. They feel like home.

Craig Malkin, author of Rethinking Narcissism, describes this as one of the most effective and least understood features of these relationships. They are not showing you who they are. They are showing you who you need them to be.

In a very real sense you have fallen in love with yourself.

Dr Ramani Durvasula calls this the greatest bait and switch in human relationships. When the mirror drops and the devaluation begins, the confusion is profound.

Because you are not just losing a relationship.

You are losing the version of yourself that finally felt seen.

And here is what Bowlby's attachment research tells us about why it works.

People who grew up never feeling fully seen by their caregivers are neurologically primed to respond to the experience of being completely understood.

For someone who grew up never feeling truly seen, the narcissist's mirror does not just feel good.

It feels like survival.

Of course you held on.
Of course you stayed longer than you should have.
Of course the loss felt unsurvivable.

You were not weak. You were responding to the deepest unmet need of your life.

I cover this in depth in my book The Scapegoat Child.

350 pages. August 7th 2026. Follow me.

#NarcissisticAbuse #Mirroring

[Steve @SearchingTLight]

@NoFilterSkin 100% 🙏

[Steve @SearchingTLight]

@_Irina_532 @Joyoky1 100%

[Steve @SearchingTLight]

@jaymond_coded @Joyoky1 Exactly. Amazing how adept they seem to be at it (I'm not sure to what degree that actually know what they're doing themselves?)

[Steve @SearchingTLight]

Truth!

[Joy Joy @Joyoky1]

Manipulative people don't say sorry; they reframe the story until your reaction looks worse than their behavior. Suddenly, you're explaining yourself while they walk away clean.

[Steve @SearchingTLight]

@susansa86371078 Resonates. Thanks for sharing

[Steve @SearchingTLight]

@AimTrue7 @Lovandfear 🙏

[Steve @SearchingTLight]

@Lovandfear 🙏

[​𝐥𝐲𝐫𝐚 @sunnkssdseraph]

According to psychology some people will never reach out and speak to you again because they don't have the maturity to cope with the fact that they did you wrong and you didn't deserve it. Since they lack accountability, they will create a made-up narrative about you so they don't feel bad about themselves.

[Steve @SearchingTLight]

@AliBeckZeck @pillowhappy 🙏

[•Mel•🏂 @DrMel_]

A narcissist is an emotionally wounded child in an adult body. You’re not dealing with a full grown person when you argue with them, reasons why it’s always draining.

They’d gaslight, claim to be the victim, defend, etc cos their brains haven’t matured enough to attain empathy and emotional responsibility, so don’t waste your precious time, simply don’t engage them

[Steve @SearchingTLight]

@beyoumf Timely advice 🙏