Dave

Hi! I’m Dave and I’m the secret service agent Donald J. Trump hates. I’m just here to give you a glimpse of being side by side with the POTUS every day.

[Dave @SecretServDave]

General mattis I wish @realDonaldTrump would “fire” me too. Fuck I hate needing this job!
#tryingtostaypositive #positivity #savedave #everydayismonday #potus #

[Dave @SecretServDave]

@realDonaldTrump keeps making us play the law and order theme song whenever he enter or leaves a room! I hate the show! #potus #BunkerBoy #protests2020 #SecretService

[Dave @SecretServDave]

I’ll never understand why @realDonaldTrump haircut appointments take so long. What could they be possibly doing back there? #potus #haircut #covidhair #secretservice #secretservicelife #workday

[Dave @SecretServDave]

@realDonaldTrump is on his 9th Diet Coke of the day. Told him I was a Pepsi guy myself and was informed that Pepsi is the black soda...wtf?!?! #wtf #BunkerBoy #BunkerBaby #sodasegregation

[Dave @SecretServDave]

@realDonaldTrump chews with his mouth open! God I hate our lunch breaks! #POTUS #potus45
#BunkerDon #GeorgeFloyd #PizzaGate #

[Dave @SecretServDave]

@realDonaldTrump just woke up. His phone is fully charged and I see his arthritic thumbs moving as fast as they can. Prepare for a tweet storm!
#BunkerBoyDonnie #tweetstorm #POTUS

[Dave @SecretServDave]

@jost_jutta @realDonaldTrFan So you too have seen his hands! He get 4 @realDonaldTrump sized handfuls or what most humans would consider half a handful or so! #tinyhands #vitaminA #POTUS45

[Dave @SecretServDave]

@Tiffany77838245 @realDonaldTrFan It’s not a toupee. His hair just naturally grew in all super villain like. It’s the one part of his body that’s thinning so he won’t let it go!

[Dave @SecretServDave]

@Tiffany77838245 @realDonaldTrFan The bathroom is pretty nice actually! POTUS where a diaper that can get quite unruly at times, but that helps keep the bathrooms just for us worker bees!

[Dave @SecretServDave]

@girlsreallyrule Trust me he doesn’t run. He walked or waddled would be more appropriate I feel. Get me out of this bunker! #savedave

[Dave @SecretServDave]

@defaulting @Jack2John He’s currently throwing a fit cause he’s supposed to be in bed by now. Who knows what tomorrow has in store. There are ketchup stained plates and napkins everywhere in this god foresakrn bunker!
#BunkerBoy #savedave #help #getmeout

[Dave @SecretServDave]

@LugnutX @AnnCoulter @realDonaldTrump It takes him forever to finish a tweet! I’ve never seen slower thumbs!

[Donald J. Trump ........................... ᵖᵃʳᵒᵈʸ @realDonaldTrFan]

MY WHITE HOUSE IS SUROUNDED BY PEACEFUL PROTESTORS! VERY LOUD! ITS HORRIBLE! So I asked MY Secret Service Agent Dave if he was going to use VICIOUS dogs & OMINOUS weapons on those protesting THUGS! Dave said "No Sir, I will not- because I love America."
I hate Dave. #protests2020

[Dave @SecretServDave]

@OceanGirl790 @realDonaldTrFan Love you too!

[Dave @SecretServDave]

@NikoleGunn @realDonaldTrFan Thank you! Thank you!

[Dave @SecretServDave]

@ouzt6 @realDonaldTrFan Thanks, but that’s a low bar

[Dave @SecretServDave]

@DockreyKelley @realDonaldTrFan It’s become the worst damn job honestly!

[Dave @SecretServDave]

@HAPDADIII @realDonaldTrFan Thank you! I love you all as well!

[Dave @SecretServDave]

@candy735 @realDonaldTrFan Thank you!