Autistic burnout: From the outside it looks like you've isolated yourself. It started shortly after the prolonged pressure at work. 8 parts on what a nervous system collapse can look like:
Undiagnosed autism long before fidget toys; it was a chewed satin edge of a blanket and a gnawed sweater cuff because you liked the squeaking sound of the material between your teeth. Nobody called it regulating; they called it a bad habit.
ADHD job hunting: you send 20 applications and the rejections arrive one line at a time, several before lunch. Then there are the ones that go silent, which you keep opening the inbox for anyway. The nervous system takes every rejection personally, and self-esteem takes a big hit for many months.
You tick the box on the application because they say it helps them “support you.”
Then the interview becomes 20 minutes on whether you can handle a busy office, and whatever time is left on the actual job.
- “We’d worry about the phones for you.”
- “It’s very fast-paced here, would you be okay with that?”
- The “quiet room,” which turns out to be a storage space with stacked chairs.
- Your two years doing this exact work, barely acknowledged.
- “We’ve gone with someone who’s a better fit for the team.”
None of it is illegal. None of it is written down. You walk out knowing you were assessed on how easy you are to sit across from, not what you can do.
And that’s why so many people on the spectrum end up invisible and unsupported. We learn the hard way, to keep quiet; when with the right support we all have a gift we could bring to the table.
when you finally do the thing you’ve been procrastinating forever
and it didn’t actually take that long
so instead of feeling proud of yourself for finally doing the thing you’ve been avoiding
your first instinct is to feel stupid and guilty for not doing it sooner
@CounsellingSam Supporting the vagus nerve will help a lot of the symptoms. The body is under extreme stress and doesn’t know how to compensate. Therapies to support the vagus nerve have brought incredible relief to many people.
@jiangyin@Autistic_Lauren Agree, it’s impossible without it being written down the words just seem to dissipate like smoke in the wind after 3 minutes.
That six‑month review: you nailed every task. The notes said the quality of your work was solid, but you “didn’t quite fit with the team”; which is their polite way of pointing out your autistic awkwardness and the fact you don’t make eye contact.
You had an amazing time. You want to do it again. You just need 10 days to recover.
Meanwhile, your new friend reads the silence as a sudden drop. You’re stuck trying to explain neurodivergent downtime without sounding “weird.” Friendships shouldn’t be this hard; yet somehow, they are.