Pan(demic) Sexual

“A greasy, heterosexual Walt Whitman” | “The Nuisance of Crete”

[Matthew Doyle @MattDoyle76]

This is the difference between Messi and typical superstars like Kane & Bellingham.

They settle. He always pushes himself to higher and higher levels (Leagues Cup, Concacaf Champions Cup). Until the English understand that they will never win.

[Zack Bornstein @ZackBornstein]

Literally every time this happens, it’s bc 2 years earlier Trump repealed something called the “No Dumping Diarrhea in our Crop Water Act”

[davey @jerseyh0mo]

Breathing in hefty lungfuls of smoke as I get explosive diarrhea from salad, the sky turns apocalyptic orange while oil companies drill in protected lands, screwworms are eating cattle alive and the president just paid $6 million for rape. And I’m also able to bet on all of it!

[saying "yes, master" to the GPS @GarlicCorgi]

Epic bacon for people who are somehow less fun than epic bacon people

[Tatenokai Gael 🇮🇪 🇻🇦 @TatenokaiGael]

People laughing away to pretend we aren't in existential crisis disgust me far more than any Hasan Piker.

I can't believe I need to watch 50+ year old videos halfway around the world to see what actual leaders look like, instead of a musical chairs of decline managers.

[Pan(demic) Sexual @SergiosTesticle]

@BOOSIEOFFICIAL Some Nigerian man and his descendants will be living like kings for decades thanks to Boosie.

[🅱️askerville @WB_Baskerville]

Every classical objection to Christianity is just this

[Flag Mouse🇻🇦✝️🇺🇸 🇵🇱🇩🇪✝️ @GringoPapist]

Be the papist that our enemies fear.

[GamblingHarm.org @GamblingHarmOrg]

Why do sports betting products trend toward the slot machine over time?

Firms don't want the volatility of sports betting results.

In a sense, they don't want profits. They want rent.

They want you to pay them rent for being a sports fan.

[Seamus (FreedomToons) @seamus_coughlin]

Guy living in Ancient Rome: That's not "roman architecture" lol that's just how buildings look

[The Notorious S.E.B. @bigseb31213]

the fact that the average union member is a conservative trump voter while the average union "organizer" is a communist grad student is probably going to come to a head at some point

[Pan(demic) Sexual @SergiosTesticle]

@Local22Philly @PhillyMayor “Visit Lawncrest but not Chestnut Hill” is interesting advice

[one dozen rats at a keyboard @PanasonicDX4500]

the actual most effective anti-communism policy in American history was the Marshall Plan, but they can’t talk about that because they decided USAID was actually about spreading Marxism for some reason.

[Pan(demic) Sexual @SergiosTesticle]

Officially taking my talents to Temple University Beasley School of Law.

UPenn wanted me to shell out $83K/year, UChicago $85K/year, and Columbia $90K/year.

Temple didn’t even make me pay the deposit on my seat.

Go Owls. Fuck Student Debt.

[Italian 🚅🇮🇹🇻🇦 @Italian347]

People will hear in history class that roles like being the guy who handled the King's pissing vase was a mega prestigious role in the Early Modern Period, find it disgusting

Then do this

[Pan(demic) Sexual @SergiosTesticle]

Finally, the perfect use for this image.

[Jesus Christ Chan Sonichu Prime ⚡️💙⚡️ ➡️ 🦋 BSky @CPU_CWCSonichu]

I am making a rare exception about my Twitter and talk about this on both here and @bluesky.

Physical Media: I am very much in favour of it. Digital media was okay for the option. But to have it as an Only way to play (modern) console games, I feel like it is simply wrong.

[Nate Silver @NateSilver538]

It's kind of ironic that Beavis & Butthead here said that voters don't want candidates "grown in vats," but their entire process of recruiting Platner was a sort of mad science experimenet/talent search based solely on outward appearances with no vetting whatsoever.

[Charles C. W. Cooke @charlescwcooke]

It’s quite funny that the case for Platner, up until about 15 hours ago, was, “well, yes, he has a Nazi tattoo and a history of saying terrible things and treats women abominably, but on the other hand he’s a communist.”

[Jeff Maurer @JeffMightBWrong]

The DSA: "Whoa -- a TRACTOR! His shirt has his *name* on it!"

***jizzes pants, ignores credible evidence that he is the Lobster Pot Strangler***

[Aakash Gupta @aakashgupta]

In Germany, a talented 14-year-old earns his club money. In America, his parents pay the club $15,000 a year.

That single inversion explains why "we will not" is the most accurate line ever written about US soccer.

FIFA built a global system for this. Training compensation and solidarity payments send a cut of every transfer fee back to the clubs that developed the player, from age 12 onward. Develop one future pro and your academy gets paid for a decade. Barcelona's La Masia, Ajax, every Bundesliga academy runs on this logic. The kid is the asset.

US Soccer refuses to enforce those rules. When Seattle's Crossfire Premier claimed its $60,000 share of DeAndre Yedlin's transfer to Tottenham, it got nothing. Claims on the Dempsey and Bradley transfers died partly because the federation couldn't even produce the youth training records.

So American clubs earn zero dollars when a kid turns pro. They earn when a kid enrolls. Which makes the parent the customer, and the product is whatever keeps the parent writing checks: travel tournaments, hotel weekends, $500 showcase events, private training at $100 an hour. Elite pathways run $8,000 to $20,000 a year. A comparable academy spot in Italy costs about 120 euros.

Follow the incentive one level deeper and it gets darker. A club dependent on fees can't cut its weakest paying players, so rosters optimize for retention over development. The scouting pool shrinks to families who can afford the cliff, which appears around age 11, exactly when development matters most. The country runs a talent filter sorted by household income instead of ability.

Every four years someone proposes fixing this. The proposal always requires the people profiting from the $15,000 model to vote themselves out of business.

They will not.