Heather Creates the Things

Tireless copywriter and artist. Aspiring novelist. Nerd at large. Genuinely unsure about whether I count as Gen X or Millennial.

#writingcommunity #amwriting

[Heather Creates the Things @Sexydweeb7]

I just typed "How do I summon Siri?" into Google, and I've never felt quite so elderly and out of touch in my entire life.

[Heather Creates the Things @Sexydweeb7]

@amandadeibert I will eat anything on a pizza, but I went out with my best friend the other night and was so excited because I got pineapple for the first time in like, YEARS. My husband and children think I'm a monster. (Though so does most of the internet, to be fair)

[Heather Creates the Things @Sexydweeb7]

@mangiotto I screamed when I saw this. It was like worlds colliding...I've been a huge MST3K and all things adjacent fan since my teens, and a huge Walter Chaw fan since finding FFC in my 20s. Like, WHAT

[Heather Creates the Things @Sexydweeb7]

@CSGersbeck Almost anytime I sing a song, I end it with jazz hands and an under-my- breath "Streetcar!"

[Heather Creates the Things @Sexydweeb7]

@amandadeibert Why do I kinda want to give Mystery Guy a hug?

[Heather Creates the Things @Sexydweeb7]

@afrosabi It's one of those things that sounds gross but is actually delicious? YEARS ago I was introduced to it when my co-workers would hand it to me wrapped in a slice of cheap white bread and, um...YUM.

[Heather Creates the Things @Sexydweeb7]

I can't stop thinking about the dream I had last night in which Pat Sajak ran violently amuck on the Wheel of Fortune set, and one of his demands was for Snickers to reverse their peanut placement--in the nougat instead of the caramel. Why? And why do I want that Snickers?

[Heather Creates the Things @Sexydweeb7]

@amandadeibert @CatStaggs

[Heather Creates the Things @Sexydweeb7]

@amandadeibert Omg, I feel this tweet so hard. My mom was a chain smoker, and used her half-full Pepsi cans as an ash tray. Guess what 6 year old thought she was very cleverly stealing a sip of soda, and instead got like, 90% ash and tobacco shreds?

[Heather Creates the Things @Sexydweeb7]

@jeffvandermeer Too late, already have them all. But I'll take any raccoon videos you happen to have lying around.

[Heather Creates the Things @Sexydweeb7]

Aaannnnd if Twitter doesn't last the night, I am going out retweeting my most popular tweet, with four, count them FOUR likes. A shooting star in the twitterverse, burned bright and burned out far too soon...

[Heather Creates the Things @Sexydweeb7]

A gaggle of juvenile turkeys walked into the road in front of our car. Jeff braked of course, and they were fine. But he leaned out the window and called them "Jerkeys" and now he's so damned delighted with himself.

[Heather Creates the Things @Sexydweeb7]

Now I'm just liking everything right and left, like a wild bacchanalia of Twitter sychophancy even though I have not actually Tweeted anything for months.

[Heather Creates the Things @Sexydweeb7]

I'm having such a hard time liking tweets tonight--each one is now a potential last like and it's so much goddamned pressure!

I just feel like the last tweet I like should be epic somehow. And yet it will probably be something stupid.

[Heather Creates the Things @Sexydweeb7]

@amandadeibert I always have a good laugh at the tiaras, food shaped jewelry, and other eclectic crap the gram throws my way, but by god the algorithms know!

[Heather Creates the Things @Sexydweeb7]

@FrankConniff Eeeeee! I watched Enola Holmes 2 last night! I loved it and immediately need more!

[Heather Creates the Things @Sexydweeb7]

@FrankConniff @TraceBeaulieu @MST3K @TheMadsAreBack I treated myself to tickets for voting today. I mean, I would have both purchased tickets and voted ANYWAY, but it's the little celebrations in life, amirite?

[Heather Creates the Things @Sexydweeb7]

@MarkHamill See, this is exactly why I pronounce it with the soft g. Ever since Strong Bad read the sign off of one of his emails "Evil moms choose Evil Gif."

[Heather Creates the Things @Sexydweeb7]

@ellle_em Madam Razz advises: "Humans am creating lies regarding tastysnacks."

[Heather Creates the Things @Sexydweeb7]

@AnaMardoll Yes! They were awesome! They got me onto the book!