It's Me

I enjoy the finer things in life, like bacon.

[It's Me @ShakesGenereaux]

http://t.co/0Bigeakt2s @momohshehuusman

[It's Me @ShakesGenereaux]

http://t.co/DjXfs1D9dD @angesteverfm

[It's Me @ShakesGenereaux]

http://t.co/AbhG8Yltaz @seancaney

[It's Me @ShakesGenereaux]

http://t.co/etxsyNHCLy @alialiaibed

[It's Me @ShakesGenereaux]

http://t.co/DHujht1REG @babi4rash

[Jamie Roberts @rockflack]

@therealelp - progress is being made - just got this./.

[Nihilist Arby's @nihilist_arbys]

Mommy, why am I so sick?
Shh. Save your energy, baby
Does God hate me?
Don't be silly, there is no God. Eat your arbys while you still can.

[Nihilist Arby's @nihilist_arbys]

It's almost the weekend! Time to drink yourself into oblivion & stave off the inevitability of eternal blackness w gross sex & yummy Arbys!

[Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien]

To really feel at home on St. Patrick's Day, I hired some Boston guys to fly here to L.A. and question my manhood.

[Patton Oswalt @pattonoswalt]

Only thing I'd change about the ending of DIE HARD? When he first lays eyes on Powell? McClane IMMEDIATELY leaves his wife for him.

[Alchemist Type Beat @Alchemist]

PRE-ORDER @ActionBronson ALBUM & @BigBodyBesNYC WILL SHOW UP & USE ANY FAMILY MEMBER OF YOUR CHOICE AS A BOOGIE BOARD http://t.co/jJzaqdGhBj

[It's Me @ShakesGenereaux]

@MattMorris85 Um, cancer might be worse. But an uncharged beard trimmer is a definitely a close second.

[Dave King @DaveKingThing]

when ur scissors r big af and u cut bae cuz u mentally unhinged

[It's Me @ShakesGenereaux]

@crystalb67 Judge:I can't let you divorce her just because you think she's crazy.
Mickey:I didn't say crazy, I said she's fucking Goofy!!!

[Stats Canada @stats_canada]

Drake was still in a wheelchair the last time the Leafs won a game

[Mario Batali @Mariobatali]

more than one in march 2015. watch out.......!

RT. @ChrisTrees: @Mariobatali when are you and @ActionBronson going to make a dish.”

[George RR Martin Parody @GeorgeRRMartin_]

Harper Lee is going to publish a sequel after 55 years...

and you people think I write slow.

[*JOHANN SEBASTIAN BACHLAVA THE DOCTOR* @ActionBronson]

NEWWWW!!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥FUUUUUCCCKKKKKKKK, THATS DELICIOUS!!! http://t.co/Q06axww0TY @munchies @BigBodyBesNYC