Neo-Maxi Zoon Dweebie

I love synth. (any pronouns)

[Neo-Maxi Zoon Dweebie @ShampooCell]

cat: licks her vagina
cat: looks skyward, one leg in the air, remembering advice once given to her by a monk
cat: continues licking vagina

[🪷ً @ethereaIised]

she looks like Big Birds pussy

[Courtney Hella @CourtneyHella]

I texted my children that we got the puppy they’ve been begging me for and sent them a link with pictures. 🐶When they clicked on the link, it took them to a webpage that said YOU’RE GROUNDED. They’ll be spending the weekend retaking our family’s cybersecurity training course.

[𝔭𝔥𝔬𝔢𝔟𝔢 🥀 @feebeejeen]

no i don’t think so

[Corey Quinn @QuinnyPig]

At some point you, as an IT person, have to ask yourself the question “could someone at work beat the shit out of me in front of 50 of our coworkers and nobody would claim to have seen anything?”

[Sam (Day&Night) 🌗 @mythical_kat]

We’re officially out of original sentences

[Neo-Maxi Zoon Dweebie @ShampooCell]

@HarleenStuff because she knows

[Frances Patano @FrancesPatano]

TWENTY NINE???? brother

[Adam 🇵🇸 @sad_pali]

I was born in the right generation, I love Lana Del Rey and Hamas

[Sweet Lu 🍭 @SuperSw33tLu]

biblical greed

[j.a. @hoIysaintwest]

Never seen someone laugh dick first

[Neo-Maxi Zoon Dweebie @ShampooCell]

drag his UGLY LIMEY ASS QUEEN!!!!

[Furkan Gözükara @FurkanGozukara]

Piers Morgan: "If you became a politician, would you carry on drinking beer, or would you give it up, do you think?"

Jaime West: "I don't know, why don't you ask Pete Hegseth, who is drinking whiskey as he's running an illegal war? Why don't you ask him that?"

[Furkan Gözükara @FurkanGozukara]

Piers Morgan: "If you became a politician, would you carry on drinking beer, or would you give it up, do you think?"

Jaime West: "I don't know, why don't you ask Pete Hegseth, who is drinking whiskey as he's running an illegal war? Why don't you ask him that?"

[Chris 𝕏 @cwchris_]

He’s doing WHAT to Clavicular???

[Robin Tran 🏳️‍⚧️ @robintran04]

The reason why this bit works is the long buildup. The premise/setup is the most important part of any bit/joke. Why most “edgy” comedy fails today isn’t offensive punchlines, it’s the lack of buildup to earn the offense. An Austin comic would just do the accent without context.

[𝕮𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖆𝖎𝖓 𝕮𝖚𝖓𝖙 ⎊ @AnaVK]

I’m exactly the right level of mentally ill to be into this

[Soulja Boy @souljaboy]

What’s happening in France is a wake-up call to the entire world. 🌍 The cost of living keeps rising while everyday people struggle to survive. People are tired of working hard just to barely get by. Governments need to start listening to the people before frustration turns into chaos. 💯🙏🏽

[Amizo @AfricanKhaIeesi]

Some swifties talk about Olivia Rodrigo like she’s Suge Knight

[greg house apologist🇵🇸 @transgreghouse]

saying all my dogs favorite words to see his reaction