S

if you’re reading this I’m probably in bed watching The Office 🤷‍♀️

[S @ShamshamSam]

Remember in Monster’s Inc when Mike Wazowski’s eye gets cut off in the commercial? This is my equivalent.

[Todd Owyoung @toddowyoung]

"How's it going?"

Me:

[Matt Van Swol @mattvanswol]

‼️Friendly PSA from Asheville to everyone staying in Tampa Bay:

PLEASE update your iPhone to iOS 18 before #Milton hits on Wednesday night.

The new Satellite Messaging could literally save your life.

[trash jones @jzux]

objectively hilarious to try to explain the concept of Girl Scout cookies to anyone from another country. yeah man these are our special Little Girl cookies. idk where the money goes. i feel like something bad happens to the girl that sells the least

[S @ShamshamSam]

I can’t wait to make my turkey brine tonight and watch every iconic Gossip Girl Thanksgiving episode.

[S @ShamshamSam]

I don’t think I’m mentally prepared for #StrangerThings season 5. This is my Roman Empire. I think about it daily and I’m going to be so mentally unwell after it’s all over. @strangerwriters are going to have to pay for my therapy bills.

[S @ShamshamSam]

I have an uncontrollable urge to call my mom or sister the second my key hits the ignition in my car.

[cats being weird little guys 👅 @weirdlilguys]

choo choo the trains here
https://t.co/2NiPIXPA62

[S @ShamshamSam]

I’m going to give myself an ulcer over this missing submersible mess

[S @ShamshamSam]

Does #TomSandoval think he’s Freddie Mercury reincarnated?? Can someone tell him he’s not? Thx.

#PumpRules

[S @ShamshamSam]

I’ve placed over 70 orders on @UberEats in the last 3 years and tonight I had items missing from my order. They just informed me I am “ineligible” for a partial refund because I have made 3 disputes for wrong / missing items in all of my past orders.

Absolutely WILD. 😂

[Vanderpump Rules 🏳️‍🌈 @sur_rules]

Sandoval was always my least favorite for this reason!

[Gibson Johns @gibsonoma]

It’s one of those days for Bravo fans where you’ll never forget where you were when you heard the news

[S @ShamshamSam]

#VanderpumpRules

[S @ShamshamSam]

#TikTokTriviaWinner 😜

[S @ShamshamSam]

It’s my last week of maternity leave and as much as I’m eager to work again, I’m so sad I can’t be a POS and take 4 naps a day anymore.

[S @ShamshamSam]

😭🤍😭🤍😭🤍😭🤍

[S @ShamshamSam]

#NewProfilePic 🥲

[S @ShamshamSam]

@_itMAYbeNICOLE Ours does when we’re burping her in between ounces and I’m like girl… I’m doing this so you don’t puke, you will get more it will be okay lol

[S @ShamshamSam]

@ marketing agencies trying to reach out and gain companies as their customers…

If I’ve blocked 3 separate numbers and have asked twice to be removed from all communication, IM NOT GOING TO CHANGE MY MIND.