Shawn Heaney

[Shawn Heaney @ShawnEHeaney]

Trump National Golf Course in Bedminster management reminds you to replace your divots.

[Shawn Heaney @ShawnEHeaney]

If they want to put asses in seats, the National State Fair needed some games and presentations by our top researchers. Some suggestions:

[Shawn Heaney @ShawnEHeaney]

Anyone else have Uncle Sam jacking off at the National State Fair on their bingo card? Also, can I get a new bingo card?

[Shawn Heaney @ShawnEHeaney]

@peacock #TheBurbs is streaming on Peacock should be considered a threat.

[Shawn Heaney @ShawnEHeaney]

@peacock Will The Burbs be released on DVD? If so, I could just hand it to people when they ask how the f@ck Trump got elected.

[Shawn Heaney @ShawnEHeaney]

For the love of all creatures great and small, DO NOT WATCH IT! You've been warned.

[Monster Mmmm Ash 🎃🦇👻🍂 @ashleybee89]

I just found out that there is a TV show spin off of The ‘Burbs on Peacock right now. Why didn’t anyone tell me?!!

[Shawn Heaney @ShawnEHeaney]

@tomhanks Just finished the blasmephmously bad Burbs mini-series. Who's responsible for this?!?

[Shawn Heaney @ShawnEHeaney]

Instead of your nausea-inducing self-promotion, how about sharing you thoughts about Pretti, woman.

[MELANIA TRUMP @MELANIATRUMP]

MELANIA, the film, exclusively in theaters worldwide on January 30th, 2026.

[Shawn Heaney @ShawnEHeaney]

I'd rather your husband digitally size my asshole than sit through this self-aggrandizing mess.

[MELANIA TRUMP @MELANIATRUMP]

MELANIA, the film, exclusively in theaters worldwide on January 30th, 2026.

[Shawn Heaney @ShawnEHeaney]

Send Help appears to be very successful... Of course, I'm referring to the movie, not the pleas of the girls that Melania participated in trafficking.

[Fox News @FoxNews]

RECORD BREAKER: “Melania,” a documentary following the first lady in the 20 days before President Trump’s second inauguration, earns $8 million opening weekend — reportedly making it the biggest documentary debut in more than a decade.

[Shawn Heaney @ShawnEHeaney]

Taylor Swift - $93 million.

[Fox News @FoxNews]

RECORD BREAKER: “Melania,” a documentary following the first lady in the 20 days before President Trump’s second inauguration, earns $8 million opening weekend — reportedly making it the biggest documentary debut in more than a decade.

[Shawn Heaney @ShawnEHeaney]

In keeping with recent trends of casting women in remakes of films with male leads, look for this Summer's release of The Mask of Whorro: Muerte a todos los mexicanos; oh, & instead of a domino mask, th new version will be an Eyes Wide Shut jawn, & the sword a double-ended dildo.

[Shawn Heaney @ShawnEHeaney]

The Zapruder film was more heartwarming.

[MELANIA TRUMP @MELANIATRUMP]

Interested in more than the 20 days of my life featured in the film?

#1 New York Times Bestselling Book 📖 MELANIA, begins with my childhood, and extends into the 2024 campaign period.  https://t.co/AvMwRTn6qf

[Shawn Heaney @ShawnEHeaney]

Victims of sex trafficking = TBD

[Marc Beckman @MarcBeckman]

FANS 🖤 MELANIA
CinemaScore = A
Rotten Tomatoes = 98
Popcornmeter = 99

[Shawn Heaney @ShawnEHeaney]

@realDonaldTrump when you're done dealing with the devestating playground taunts, can you maybe take a litte look-see at Israeli genocide and Putin's testing of NATO resolve?

[Shawn Heaney @ShawnEHeaney]

@AdamKinzinger And Jesus said, "Take off that silly ass wig."

[Shawn Heaney @ShawnEHeaney]

@MJMcKean This may be a hostage video.