Not sure how to articulate this exactly but there’s a certain tendency with some people where they won’t speak about anything substantive when you talk to them, and the conversation is entirely like a perpetual “bit”. I don’t know how to relate in that way it’s so exhausting.
I talked to a friend who just had her graduation and she told me how she hadn't felt this kind of happiness in years. I hope I can feel like that again too. just pure joy of you doing something, instead of relying on the joy others give you (or lack thereof)
it kind of feels like I lost the ability to find joy in those little wins in life. those "hey I just finally beat this stage that I've been struggling on for so long" type of wins. and it feels weird? like now my joy just depends on the people around me?