Shit Pilgrim Says

Here be a record of the crazy things that are uttered by the data scientists and software engineers on the @foursquare Pilgrim team.

[Shit Pilgrim Says @ShitPilgrimSays]

Contact tracing apps is the new black!

[Shit Pilgrim Says @ShitPilgrimSays]

Why do millennials always travel in groups of three or five?

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.
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Because they literally can't even!

[Shit Pilgrim Says @ShitPilgrimSays]

A: Are you thinking that one plus five is six?

B: It usually is, yes.

[Max Sklar @maxsklar]

@stpyang @Foursquare @justgotreel Me and Shadow, 2009

[________________ @_nataliest]

alias yeet='git push'
alias yoink='git pull'
alias oof='git reset --hard'

[Shit Pilgrim Says @ShitPilgrimSays]

Manager: Can we get everyone to stop using the term "rubber stamp"?

(five minutes later)

IC: can someone yeet my pr?

[Shit Pilgrim Says @ShitPilgrimSays]

Can i tag a cluster pipeline with the name ᕕᐛᕗ?

[Shit Pilgrim Says @ShitPilgrimSays]

Ten years from now I’ll still be demanding type safety and someone is gonna’ look me dead in the face and say okay boomer

[Shit Pilgrim Says @ShitPilgrimSays]

I feel like one of @bart_massi's monkeys learning to add

[Shit Pilgrim Says @ShitPilgrimSays]

it’s so cool how you think something is magic and then turns out it has a github repo

[Shit Pilgrim Says @ShitPilgrimSays]

A: What should the name of this new shape score be?

B: How about UndocumentedShapeScore?

A: No

[Shit Pilgrim Says @ShitPilgrimSays]

Can I have the chicken and rice, but instead of rice can I have ice cream?

[Shit Pilgrim Says @ShitPilgrimSays]

[To the manager] One of these days you're going to call a team meeting and forget to add to the title that it's not bad news and everyone will panic

[________________ @_nataliest]

Therapist: and what do we do when we see that a bunch of shit fails but we're not on call?

Me: debug anyway because the on-call person is probably busy with something more important.

Therapist: no.

[________________ @_nataliest]

TFW referring an extremely qualified senior engineer whom you've met at #GHC2019 and she also happens to have worked with a tech stack similar to your company's stack

[Shit Pilgrim Says @ShitPilgrimSays]

A: What's a manbun? Is it just a bun?

B: Yes but on a man.

A: Oh, I see.

[Shit Pilgrim Says @ShitPilgrimSays]

Spark is like a puppy. Everyone who sees it wants to play with it, and it’ll probably shit on your floor every day.