Shit User Story

The internet nobody asked for.

[GregsGadgets @GregoryMcFadden]

These companies truly have no idea what regular people want

[Shit User Story @ShitUserStory]

As a…
– meeting attendee
I want…
– AI meeting notes
so that…
– I have AI meeting notes

[Shit User Story @ShitUserStory]

As an...
– iPhone 16 user
I want...
– an iPhone 17
so that...
– I have an iPhone 17

#AppleEvent #iPhone16

[Shit User Story @ShitUserStory]

As an…
– #iOS26 user
I want…
– a translucent UI that reflects and refracts its surroundings, delivering a new level of vitality across controls
so that…
– I can struggle to read

[Shit User Story @ShitUserStory]

As a…
– user
I want…
– unlabelled icons
so that…
– delight

[Shit User Story @ShitUserStory]

As an…
– Instagram user
I want to…
– expand fifty-three comments, three comments at a time, in reverse chronological order
so that…
– I can read the conversation

[Shit User Story @ShitUserStory]

As an...
– iPhone 15 owner
I want...
– an iPhone 16
so that...
– I have an iPhone 16

#AppleEvent #iPhone16

[Shit User Story @ShitUserStory]

@axelinternet @jessmartin @cursor_ai https://t.co/bQRH2lbarH

[Shit User Story @ShitUserStory]

As a...
– user
I want to...
– sign up for an account
So that...
– I have an account

[Shit User Story @ShitUserStory]

As a...
– website visitor
I want...
– multiple large stylesheets hosted in various places
so that...
– I can briefly experience the internet of 1998

[Shit User Story @ShitUserStory]

As a...
– user pasting text from multiple sources
I want to...
– paste the source formatting by default
so that...
– all of my documents have that professional, ransom-note vibe

[Shit User Story @ShitUserStory]

Inspired by my ✨AI-optimised ✨ washing machine.

[Shit User Story @ShitUserStory]

As a…
– user
I want…
– AI in every product
so that…
–

[Shit User Story @ShitUserStory]

As a...
– consumer
I want to...
– see my favourite multinational corporations update their social media graphics on June 1st
so that...
– it distracts me from their presence and business relationships in nations with limited LGBTQ+ rights

[Shit User Story @ShitUserStory]

As an…
– Instagram user
I want…
– an overwhelming number of options displayed in a wacky pile of buttons
so that…
– I can add fucking everything to my story

[Shit User Story @ShitUserStory]

@ThiagoLunardi13 https://t.co/w61mWycv7I

[Shit User Story @ShitUserStory]

As a...
– Twitter user
I want to...
– have the timeline refresh a couple of seconds after opening the app
So that...
– the tweet I am half-way through reading is replaced with a more relevant, promoted tweet.

[Shit User Story @ShitUserStory]

As a…
– Twitter user
I want…
– access to the world’s most accurate real-time information source, a global town square for communication
so that…
– I can be repeatedly told to look between letters on my keyboard

[Shit User Story @ShitUserStory]

As a…
– website visitor
I want to…
– patiently wait for content to load dynamically
so that…
– I am awash with delight

[Shit User Story @ShitUserStory]

As a…
– Twitter user
I want…
– free speech
so that…
– ░P░U░S░S░Y░ ░I░N░ ░B░I░O░

[Shit User Story @ShitUserStory]

@helloitsolly @Zoom https://t.co/P5e5H81OGY

[Shit User Story @ShitUserStory]

As a…
– user cancelling a monthly subscription
I want…
– at least eleven opportunities to say “yes I am sure I want to unsubscribe”, each with questionable usage of continue and cancel button labels
so that…
– I might remain subscribed

[Shit User Story @ShitUserStory]

@lhomme23 https://t.co/5lVBwqdWdx

[Shit User Story @ShitUserStory]

As a...
– jobseeker
I want to...
– upload my CV in an accepted file format, and subsequently provide each piece of CV information to a webform
So that...
– both the employer and algorithm get the data in the format they require