ShittyLab

All things urban.

Slumlords apply within.

Tips can be anonymously shouted at meter maids.

[ShittyLab @ShittyLab]

Inside of all of us there is a streetcar waiting to derail.

[ShittyLab @ShittyLab]

Leadership doesn’t always come from the top nor does it always come from the bottom.

It ALWAYS, however, comes from multi-day Tony Robbins seminars.

[ShittyLab @ShittyLab]

If you don't have anything nice to say, run for president.

[ShittyLab @ShittyLab]

Dance like no one's watching..
Sing like no one's listening..
Design your street grid like no one's ever going to need to get to work before 9 AM..

[ShittyLab @ShittyLab]

Uber Pool has truly revolutionized the way I totally ignore people in enclosed spaces.

[ShittyLab @ShittyLab]

FOR RENT: Adequate building code? No.

Wi-Fi enabled toasters? Yes.

[ShittyLab @ShittyLab]

When autonomous vehicles become commonplace, where will I direct all of my road rage?

The heavens?

[ShittyLab @ShittyLab]

A new surge in vacation-homelessness, beach-homelessness, and second-homelessness is cropping up in many wealthy exurbs.

[ShittyLab @ShittyLab]

The real urban-rural divide is between wearing clothes that fit and wearing clothes that don't.

[ShittyLab @ShittyLab]

Now that DC Metro's SafeTrack program is complete for all train lines, officials announce they're back to regular old DangerousTrack

[ShittyLab @ShittyLab]

San Francisco Fire Dept. accidentally sprays building fire with low-fat mocha latte.

The fire has spread 7 blocks & has started 4 companies

[ShittyLab @ShittyLab]

Sure, Mussolini made the trains run on time but how good was he at curbing vagrancy in commercial districts?

Pretty great it turns out.

[ShittyLab @ShittyLab]

I like my smog how I like my coffee...

Extremely hazardous to the public at large

[ShittyLab @ShittyLab]

Gentrification (noun) -

When a neighborhood gets way nicer with no controversy whatsoever

[ShittyLab @ShittyLab]

Oh, so dogs can pee on fire hydrants but I can't dodge a few pesky Department of Health regulations?

I smell hypocrisy!!

[ShittyLab @ShittyLab]

Join us Tuesday evenings for our new Zumba-Jaywalking class.

...Tickets are $65

[ShittyLab @ShittyLab]

Scientists discover frozen caveman urban planner in downtown Toledo.

First words upon thawing: "This rail infrastructure is ancient!!"

[ShittyLab @ShittyLab]

To curb a spike in littering, Portland will consider bringing back drawing and quartering.

Citizens ask: "Does this go far enough?"

[ShittyLab @ShittyLab]

NYC Mayor, @BilldeBlasio, designates all phone booths as "Sanctuary Cubes." #NoBan

[ShittyLab @ShittyLab]

"Poor doors" are nature's way of saying: "You stood on the left side of the escalator in a previous life."

[ShittyLab @ShittyLab]

New app promises to be "the Airbnb of that other half of the couch you're not sitting on right now, Alan."