Jew Balance

[Jew Balance @ShobeKnowsWorst]

Im finally growing up. I bought a whole 2 new pair of underwear today. It’s been a 6 year run since my last purchase of any.

[Jew Balance @ShobeKnowsWorst]

I told my boss yesterday that family matters more than my work and I genuinely think it pissed her off. She’s clearly never watched any of the Fast and Furious movies.

[Jew Balance @ShobeKnowsWorst]

If my gf doesn’t get me flowers for Valentine’s Day I’m leaving her ass #GenderEquality

[Jew Balance @ShobeKnowsWorst]

Consent, usually get it in writing

[Jew Balance @ShobeKnowsWorst]

Isa watching me open all the hoodies this year for Christmas knowing damn well she’s going to steal them

[Jew Balance @ShobeKnowsWorst]

Do you ever just have a day so busy you forget to shit?

[Jew Balance @ShobeKnowsWorst]

Put gas in all 3 of my vehicles plus my push mower and thinking about declaring bankruptcy.

[Jew Balance @ShobeKnowsWorst]

S/O to @TexasMBB for bringing the whole team to @OthellosNorman for Valentine’s Day and ruining just about everybody’s evening by being loud and disrespectful.

[Jew Balance @ShobeKnowsWorst]

@bigcityboi69 Nice dog tho

[Jew Balance @ShobeKnowsWorst]

My girlfriend told me today that my pickup is “ugly and embarrassing” and I was pretty butthurt because she’s been letting me drive that thing everywhere for the last 6 months.

[Jew Balance @ShobeKnowsWorst]

Was gonna stop and grab a bite to eat on the way home from work but 30 minutes of Norman traffic turned that into a beer run

[Jew Balance @ShobeKnowsWorst]

In another consumer report, my girlfriend’s 3-year-old said he was “bad, dumb, and ugly” and has me questioning if I really want this dog anymore

[Jew Balance @ShobeKnowsWorst]

A random kid in my neighborhood dissed my pitbull when he said he was “soft like a poodle” and he’s lost all his street credibility since then.

[Jew Balance @ShobeKnowsWorst]

@MadMoneyMilk @TheJitNextDoor @SquanchLord Mf you born the same month as St. Valentine. Softy ass

[Jew Balance @ShobeKnowsWorst]

Normalize putting decent toilet paper in public bathrooms.

[Jew Balance @ShobeKnowsWorst]

@bigcityboi69 @memofloresIII My fighter only fights real boxers. Not second-career hacks

[Jew Balance @ShobeKnowsWorst]

Roofers all week in Nompton

[Jew Balance @ShobeKnowsWorst]

My gf went to do “brunch and drinks with friends” at 10:30 this morning 5 hrs later I haven’t seen her still yet, she left me on read, too, but it’s fine I’m sure because I know she’s secretly securing that PS5 for me, right? Lord, am I blessed.

[Jew Balance @ShobeKnowsWorst]

@Eloisapaez A wack one

[Jew Balance @ShobeKnowsWorst]

It doesn’t matter what I do. My gf waits until after I take my sleeping meds to ask me to do shit