Clare Shortt🧢🤠🐄

OAD owner operators in Paeroa supplying A2 milk and LWP certified. Cornish Expat. Mother to two angel cherubs. Full time farmer. ITM

[Clare Shortt🧢🤠🐄 @ShorttClare]

I wrote a little poem, whilst pondering my existence

"Oh carbon dioxide,
how I love thee,
You feed the plants
And the plants feed me."

#carbon
#LoveLife
#agriculture
#climatehoax

[Clare Shortt🧢🤠🐄 @ShorttClare]

@MrJamesMay Pets the bane/beauty of our lives!

[Clare Shortt🧢🤠🐄 @ShorttClare]

@cvfarming Switched off the machine as if the next day it will carry on. So sad

[Clare Shortt🧢🤠🐄 @ShorttClare]

@bartjevandeven May have to use that trucking company, ours was more that that!! They have only just removed the Covid adjustment factor

[Clare Shortt🧢🤠🐄 @ShorttClare]

@SamaHoole @DonnaKamp2 Always keep ours for cooking obviously not strained just pour straight in and dig out. Done all my life, saves on buying seed oils.

[Clare Shortt🧢🤠🐄 @ShorttClare]

@bartjevandeven Sure are and I keep forgetting to take the torch on the hills 🤦

[Clare Shortt🧢🤠🐄 @ShorttClare]

Ohh and on page 10

[Clare Shortt🧢🤠🐄 @ShorttClare]

@Rural_News you may need to get your proof reader to buy a round at the pub tonight. 2 mistakes on the front page !

[Clare Shortt🧢🤠🐄 @ShorttClare]

@bartjevandeven How many heifers to bulls did that bring you down to?

[Clare Shortt🧢🤠🐄 @ShorttClare]

@AucklandIsland So if you buy a property in this area you cannot insure it, is that correct or the premiums will be through the roof?

[Clare Shortt🧢🤠🐄 @ShorttClare]

Batten down the hatches!

[Clare Shortt🧢🤠🐄 @ShorttClare]

Do you think cloud seeding is really such a good idea?

[Volcaholic 🌋 @volcaholic1]

Whoahh! Kastamonu in Turkey has had more than 1.5m of snow (nearly 5ft) ❄️❄️❄️

[Clare Shortt🧢🤠🐄 @ShorttClare]

@_MaccaNZ Agreed but I am the mum of teenage daughters so in need of them as well!

[karen thompson @karenfthompson]

Right then here goes...

ANNUAL RANT ALERT!!

Triggered by adverts and TV chefs😠😠

Christmas Dinner....
I have concluded that the inevitable stress of Christmas dinner is created by adverts, supermarkets and TV chefs...
It's a Sunday dinner for goodness sake!!! We do it quite happily 51 weeks of the year but can we the consumers be trusted to manage by ourselves on one day of the year...apparently not!
Here goes...
1. Turkey... It's a big fecking chicken that's all, 20 minutes per lb plus 20 minutes at 180 degrees - jobs a good un!
Get yourselves a meat thermometer £3 off the Internet poke it in the offending bird if it says 75 degrees or over it’s cooked!
2. Stuffing - regardless of what Jamie Oliver says you do NOT need 2lbs of shoulder of pork, onions breadcrumbs,pine nuts and a shit load of fresh herbs to make stuffing....( no fecking wonder he's bankrupt if thats what he spends to make stuffing!)
What you need is Paxo and a kettle!!
If you wanna liven it up squeeze 3 sausages out of their skins and mix that in with your Paxo before cooking 😉.
3. Gravy - Jamie Oliver is copping for this one aswell....
Gravy granules Jamie.... All you need is gravy granules!
I ( nor any other woman I know) has got time on Christmas Eve to piss about roasting chicken wings and vegetables, adding stock and flour,cooking it for another half hour, mashing it all up with a potato masher and then straining the whole sorry mess to make gravy 😠😠😠
4. Vegetables... Never mind faffing round shredding sprouts and frying them with bacon and chestnuts to make them more palatable... If you don't like them don't buy and cook the fecking things!! If your family only eats frozen peas then that's good enough!
5. Roast potatoes... Yes I par boil mine then roast them in goose fat but Aunt Bessie also does the same 😉.
6. Trimmings /Christmas pudding and the like.... Aldi or Lidl!
(oh and while we're on the subject of pudding- if birds custard is what your family likes on the wretched thing then that's fine - you do not need brandy butter /rum sauce etc or anything else that costs a fecking fortune and takes 2 hours to make!)
7. Family....
Children.. Feed the little blighters first separately, if they only want turkey with tomato sauce - fine leave em to it,
it doesn't matter.
Once they are fed bugger them off to play with their Christmas presents so that YOU can enjoy your dinner in Peace!
Adults...
Anyone that can manage to get their sorry arse to your dinner table is also capable of helping to serve up/ sort the kids out/ clear the table /wash up /dry up etc.
And Finally.....

NO ONE....
And I mean no one APART FROM THE COOK IS ALLOWED TO GET DRUNK AND FALL ASLEEP BEFORE THE WASHING UP IS DONE!!!
Rant over 😂

Merry feckin Christmas!

[Clare Shortt🧢🤠🐄 @ShorttClare]

@Soaringeagle45 Norwegian trolls!

[Clare Shortt🧢🤠🐄 @ShorttClare]

@TrumpsHurricane The breads at the bottom 😱

[Clare Shortt🧢🤠🐄 @ShorttClare]

@urbantui @dairymanNZ Oh I so wish they were 🤦

[Clare Shortt🧢🤠🐄 @ShorttClare]

@CorbinSchuster Amazing what happens underground when you are waiting patiently or not so above ground!

[Clare Shortt🧢🤠🐄 @ShorttClare]

@fairleigh_ag And yet @AgriZeroNZ are continuing on this crazy path, virtue signaling at its best.

[Clare Shortt🧢🤠🐄 @ShorttClare]

@mcnaughthelen1 @dairymanNZ @LewisRoad Yep southern pastures is mainly back by European pension funds.

[Clare Shortt🧢🤠🐄 @ShorttClare]

@dairymanNZ @Feebeekiwi Which is owned by synlait and therefore the Chinese.