Shwartz

The Twitt of the Day

[Shwartz @ShwartzBwithU]

"I love replacing dinner with popcorn." - Ben.

[Shwartz @ShwartzBwithU]

"I'm a magnet for 'stache!" - Mike B.

[Shwartz @ShwartzBwithU]

"How do blind people wake up?" - Aaron.

[Shwartz @ShwartzBwithU]

"If I was homeless I would probably just grab people. What are they gunna do, send u to jail, with a roof over your head!?" -Chris.

[Shwartz @ShwartzBwithU]

"I gave a goat a golden shower" - Mcdole

[Shwartz @ShwartzBwithU]

"Macbeth is an awful version of Breaking Bad." - Nick.

[Shwartz @ShwartzBwithU]

"I didn't know I was gunna work at a fun place...I wouldn't have gotten married!" -Charles.

[Shwartz @ShwartzBwithU]

"Cartoon bones look like long chef hats!" - Aaron.

[Shwartz @ShwartzBwithU]

Susan: "Are you humming the theme from Lord of the Rings?" Ben: "No. But that's a good idea."

[Shwartz @ShwartzBwithU]

"You know what the best cookie is? The next one." - Ian.

[Shwartz @ShwartzBwithU]

"Just not as many cracks for shit to go into" -Jeremy, on the superiority of changing a baby boy over a baby girl.

[Shwartz @ShwartzBwithU]

"Orange is my favorite color...when painted green." - Ian.

[Shwartz @ShwartzBwithU]

"Why do rappers hate my birthday?" - me.

[Shwartz @ShwartzBwithU]

"If I was giving a starfish, I'd wrap it!" - Ian.

[Shwartz @ShwartzBwithU]

"What is wrong with your brain?!" - Ben.

[Shwartz @ShwartzBwithU]

"Nobody ever expects the whole studio..." - JB, on people stealing lunches from the fridge.

[Shwartz @ShwartzBwithU]

"I'm just like Bruce Wayne...except with none of the money and all of the guilt." - me.

[Shwartz @ShwartzBwithU]

"I always feel older when I eat pumpkin pie." - Aurorah.

[Shwartz @ShwartzBwithU]

"I'm never NOT running around in a fat suit and a mustache!" - JB.

[Shwartz @ShwartzBwithU]

"If I ever had a baby I'd want it to come out as a cat." - Lauren.