@rumilyrics I think everything we do is transactional. If it is not for the return of kindness from others,then it is to make urself feel good and worthy. Sympathetic Kindness is more common but being empathetic and kind should be practised.
My hacks in unhappy times-
1. Try to understand the reason- external or internal, under my control/ not, self talk
2. Make other goals for self, mid/short term.
3.Give/selflessly help others where only reward is 😇
4. Grow🪴,🐕, get close to nature, new social groups,be in ☀️⛰️🌊
Don't look for wrong things at wrong places- love where mistrust exists, rationale where faith is strong, friendship where motives, interests or disrespect of one's vulnerabilities overtake joy of companionship.
Happiness is a choice.
To outgrow from constant battle of never ending grief&not settling wid joy in transient things/people, nor distracting urself from battling irrational fears&not giving into temporary pleasures of life is also choice tht requires courage, discipline &will.
Turned up my walls and sat inside. Quietly. Without any hint of distraction . I felt distant with people and distant with myself. I remembered it started with "finding a life". Where mundane life could be spiced up.
Only to realise after years, that the boredom is good. Boredom isn't lack of options but lack of distractions. Doing one thing at a time over n over again and using all the energy on one thing at a time.