Simon Cross

[CHIEF i k u k u 1 🇳🇴 @IEruona]

Pushed my Saturday chores to Sunday, and now Sunday has arrived

[PDSTORI 🌪️ @ToxieHavok]

The "H" in Jesus H. Christ stands for Hoobastank because he died for a reason and the reason is you

[𝖊𝖑𝖑𝖊 @deirdrescig]

lighting a cig in an open field in the uk

[BBC Newsnight @BBCNewsnight]

"I think it's time."

Rapper Tinie Tempah says he's considering taking his new tour to Scunthorpe - after declaring in his hit song Pass Out that he'd never been to the town.

#Newsnight

[Aidan James @mcandidate]

rogue choice in this heat, has he considered a standard continental lager

[1/4 Black Garrett @QTRBlackGarrett]

First article you find in a Resident Evil game

[Andrew Qu @andrewqu]

There are psychos, and then there are people who plug their laptop into a monitor and use only the laptop screen

[Mehrdaad @iranianwario]

I was really surprised to learn that he's been doing bjj since 2018, you have to be a real psycho to still have this mentality past your first few months of training

[Aidan James @mcandidate]

embrace Mediterranean life

[Andy Burnham @andyburnham]

Let me say this very directly.

Football does not belong to investors. It belongs to the people who fill the stands and who stand on the touchline week in, week out, rain or shine.

The World Cup is not a product. It is the greatest competition in world sport, and it was never anyone's to sell. Dress the deal up however you like. Once you have sold a piece of it, you have sold out.

Football belongs to the fans. It always has, and it always will.

[UEFA @UEFA]

UEFA statement on The Times article: ⬇️

[Memes Universidad Nacional @nacional_memes]

Fueron vengados ❤️‍🩹

[Anon Opin. @anon_opin]

Apart from Brexit, one of the most catastrophic, self harming decisions ever taken in the UK was by Dr Beeching when he closed 30% of the railway networks lines and 50% of the stations in the 1960's. How we could use that capacity now, getting cars and trucks off of the road.

[Talmud Enjoyer 🇬🇧 🇮🇱 🧬 @jewndahalfmen]

England is now a Mediterranean country:

We have hot weather, a shit economy, and a good football team.

[Casey Evans @Casey_Evans_]

‘What a win for England’

Jordan Henderson (unused substitute):

[HLTCO @HLTCO]

When Sepp Blatter is taking to social media to call out corruption on your watch, it’s probably time to accept that the game’s up.

This is like Fred West critiquing your paving technique.