kemosabe

time to nut down or shut down

[kemosabe @SimonRematthews]

A coffee plunger is a good present for an 18 year old who doesnt drink coffee

[kemosabe @SimonRematthews]

Do you remember when you joined X? I do! #MyXAnniversary

[kemosabe @SimonRematthews]

Bombers starting the year off with a loss. Their mascot should be a paper plane - looks promising but crashes fast

[kemosabe @SimonRematthews]

Colleague shelling and eating prawns in the office. 10 for effort, 1 for splattering prawn juice all over me

[kemosabe @SimonRematthews]

@bigdickswingn2 @Everton They need Bobby Zamora

[kemosabe @SimonRematthews]

@hourly_shitpost @gradossss

[kemosabe @SimonRematthews]

#NewProfilePic

[kemosabe @SimonRematthews]

@TrollFootball @bigdickswingn2

[kemosabe @SimonRematthews]

@bigdickswingn2

[kemosabe @SimonRematthews]

Quite surprised that starting the day off with drinking double rum and cokes did in fact end with me being an obnoxious and miserable prick

[kemosabe @SimonRematthews]

@bigdickswingn2 Same day! What are the chances

[kemosabe @SimonRematthews]

Do you remember when you joined X? I do! #MyXAnniversary

[kemosabe @SimonRematthews]

@Arsenal Declan Rice late out - Seen just now in West London with Maccas in hand

[kemosabe @SimonRematthews]

@essendonfc #GoDons

[kemosabe @SimonRematthews]

@pgalv_ Where are you booking your seats for the grandy?

[kemosabe @SimonRematthews]

Power move moment today by asking the bloke next to me at the hairdresser who was waiting for his kids to finish, “you next?”. Resulted in a reply of no followed by a hesitant look into the camera of his phone and a run through of his hair with his fingers

[kemosabe @SimonRematthews]

@haskis_24 Hey! I tell ya what I'm gonna give you, Snakes. [takes out his Tommy Gun] I'm gonna give you to the count of 10, to get your ugly, yellow, no-good keister off my property, before I pump your guts full o' lead!

[kemosabe @SimonRematthews]

@finnthoughts

[kemosabe @SimonRematthews]

Has legitimately just gone from one of Londons sunniest days to hailing within 2 shakes of a lambs tail. The royal family led by Charles must be held accountable 🦾

[kemosabe @SimonRematthews]

@bigdickswingn2 @invis4yo

[kemosabe @SimonRematthews]

@FadeHubb Your mate @finnthoughts